i was out walking tonight and I started asking myself a simple question, do I really wanna do this for another thousand nights? Do i really wanna live like this until death?
To be completely honest, I fucking hate my life and myself. I feel like am wasting away. I fucking hate myself for having zero control and I hate my environment. The counter augment would be something like “it could always be worse” but I know that it’s going to Get worse.
My biggest fear is am not a man of action or change, just an idiot chasing cheap dopamine from the idea of changing and then I forgot about it the morning afterwards.
I remember back in February 2025 coping about changing my life and I haven’t really done fuck all.
Bro I don’t wanna keep living like this. I feel enslaved like am not willing to change anything but at the same time am also not willing to kill myself. So am just stuck living like this everyday until a decade passes by.
It also seems like whenever I get small victories something happens that pulls me back down.
Like Is this it? Just doomscrolling and watching garbage on the internet and then going for walks around the same place at odd hours of the night?
To be completely honest, I fucking hate my life and myself. I feel like am wasting away. I fucking hate myself for having zero control and I hate my environment. The counter augment would be something like “it could always be worse” but I know that it’s going to Get worse.
My biggest fear is am not a man of action or change, just an idiot chasing cheap dopamine from the idea of changing and then I forgot about it the morning afterwards.
I remember back in February 2025 coping about changing my life and I haven’t really done fuck all.
Bro I don’t wanna keep living like this. I feel enslaved like am not willing to change anything but at the same time am also not willing to kill myself. So am just stuck living like this everyday until a decade passes by.
It also seems like whenever I get small victories something happens that pulls me back down.
Like Is this it? Just doomscrolling and watching garbage on the internet and then going for walks around the same place at odd hours of the night?
