Lately, I have been reminiscing about cynical, rational in some sense, nihilist and fatalist I have become. I enjoy nothing I do. I am just 'self-improving', reading, studying, etc. because it is the lesser of two evils - the other option being just a lazy degenerate ignoramus. I see my life and life in general as somewhat arbitrary. A monadic consciousness in which plurality of phenomena arise and disappear according to metaphysical constants or forms (quality, quantity, extension, time, space, change, life, known laws of physics, etc.), finite 'sensual' phenomena are hierarchically ordered according to how they conform to aforementioned 'constants' ...
What I am trying to say is that I miss being 'good' and naive as I was my childhood. Not being burdened by life's disappointments and cruel realities, your own 'sins' and various mental constructs and philosophizing you do as a result. It seems that if you are not born a sociopath (or psychopath?) as Normies, Chads, and Gynoids are, you become one as a result of their bullying and ostracizing in addition to stress from school and so on.
I could probably write a book about these 'feels' but I am just too lazy.
What I am trying to say is that I miss being 'good' and naive as I was my childhood. Not being burdened by life's disappointments and cruel realities, your own 'sins' and various mental constructs and philosophizing you do as a result. It seems that if you are not born a sociopath (or psychopath?) as Normies, Chads, and Gynoids are, you become one as a result of their bullying and ostracizing in addition to stress from school and so on.
I could probably write a book about these 'feels' but I am just too lazy.
