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SuicideFuel I might have to kill myself

I have a crown court trial in 20 days and I will probably go to prison for 3 years to 5 years. And I am broke as fuck and i don't think anyone even remembers me anymore never mind give a fuck about me anyway. And I will never get to reconcile with my parents and enjoy life with them because we are still broke and it still pisses me off that we live like poverty niggers and we are so low IQ. I started to hate everything even smoking weed is not that fun anymore I just do it out of compulsion and even my neighbours are complaining that I smoke and they can smell it, so I don't even have a place to cope anymore in peace. And when I go to my mum's house my nigger brother is always there killing the good feelings and getting on my nerves and harassing my mum and shit. And my mum hates me anyway because i am a loser with nothing.

I really feel like this is the end for me I already cut off all my friends a year ago almost and the plan was to move to a better area and make new ones but I will never be able to move anyway and I'll be in prison soon and I have no money to do shit. I feel utterly trapped. I don't even want to die but I just want all the bullshit constant problems to be over. I might try run to another country and never come back to England again. This place is a feminist shithole anyway and I'm really tired of being here. But I will get stopped at the airport and arrested since I am on trial.

This is some bullshit man I don't even know what to say or do anymore I feel tired like this emoji :feelsrope: i have Los of stories but I don't want to tell them because nobody cares anyways and they are all just pathetic stories anyway. But trust me when I say that it's over for me. Is there even a way back from this if I go to prison then I will come out as a 30 year wizard with no money and my parents may be dead and i will have absolutely nothing and nobody. What shall I do, do you guys think prison will be that bad, you think my old mum and dad can survive another 5 years with stress on them of money and shit, my dad is 61 and my mum is 59 and she is already kinda old and weak and my dad already shows old age as well and his cognition isn't that great anymore I fear he wil get dementia soon. I don't know what to do man.
Please reconsider ,I can talk if you want
 
Well see how bad it gets life is pretty much at rock bottom right now so it can't get worse unless I become disabled.
Become Muslim. The brothers will look after you in there
 
Become Muslim. The brothers will look after you in there
Nigger I am Muslim and the brothers means fuck all the Muslim brothers cause more problems for each other than they solve
 
Nigger I am Muslim and the brothers means fuck all the Muslim brothers cause more problems for each other than they solve
It’s different inside you’ll be encouraged to stay on deen and not smoke spice. Dont rope that’s a ticket to eternal jahanam
 

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