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Venting I have always been self-destructive

  • Thread starter TimeMachineOrLDAR
  • Start date
TimeMachineOrLDAR

TimeMachineOrLDAR

25 y/o mentally ill kissless virgin
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Joined
Sep 14, 2025
Posts
1,209
This has been a characteristic of mine from early on. I would get frustrated and sad about anything very quickly as well. Learning new things was basically impossible with this attitude. My father was the one causing this. Not only did I grow up with lots of childhood traumas, family fights, screaming, crying, physical fights etc., but I was also talked down to by him during my childhood, youth and even nowadays. He used to (and still does) compare me to people who were better than me at anything, insult his children and never teach them anything — in fact, he didn’t even work for his family for more than four years. I also blame my mother for choosing him as a husband and keeping us in his surroundings. I feel nothing but hate for them. I know I’ll never heal from this. This is why I’m still a KV at age 25. I wonder if I’ll ever decide to reach the final form of self-destruction, man. Fuck this trash life.

It is what it is tho. You don’t have control over your childhood, parents etc. and if you grew up in a shitty household, you most likely won’t get your shitty life fixed until around age 23. Brutal....

TDLR: My father made sure to turn me into an anxious, love-shy, self-destructive, miserable, lonely, incompetent, friendless KV.
 
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Tell me, how can you not fear intimacy if you went through this? It's impossible to ascend. I'll never become a man.
 

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