Intimacy is a good word. Attraction is not a pre-requisite for intimacy. Intimacy does not need intercourse. I would describe intimacy as a meetings of two souls. For example, last week I went out with a girl that ended up friend-zoning me, but before that, she told me her story about her teenage boyfriend commiting suicide while they were still lovers. Some would say she used me as an emotional tampon, I honestly think she shared an intimate story, and that she's still working through her feelings of guilt. Maybe you're right and we're attracted to each other and that's why we could share that intimate story, but I don't think it was physical attraction, I belive she just found me interesting enough to open up.
True point. There's trust/emotional intimacy and physical intimacy. And when I talk about "getting intimate", I am talking about physical intimacy, because I honestly think it is extremely easy for me to open up to someone completely random if I am not talking in person, and sometimes I end up oversharing stuff.
Physical intimacy can be extremely easy to get compared to trust and emotional intimacy, because that is when you actually pour yourself onto someone else, you give them power. Handling them your feelings is handling them your integrity.
I guess if I was given the chance and was feeling it, I would fall very easily emotionally, because I am unfamiliar with that. But I am scared, what if I someday meet someone and this person just gives up, goes away or cheats on me? I imagine how awful that must be. I read about it all the time and the feelings people describe are terrifying. I have already lost too many people all this time so I am kinda familiar with people walking away from me, just not in a romantic way because I don't know what that is, which I guess is much emotionally traumatic.
I have way too many emotional traumas already and I sincerely think it would be good for girls to never be with me, or they would end messed up emotionally as well. The last thing I want is being responsible for the emotional downfall and instability of someone else, especially if the person was genuine to me and totally did not deserve that. That would be the cherry on the top of the cake for me, because I would not just have ruined myself and something good I had, I would also be ruining another person. Even if the other person would manage to recover, I imagine it would leave some kind of mental scar on them, some trust issue, some fear.
Anyway, I had more things to say but I lost my focus and memory on what to say.
