Tldr: I went to a BJJ class, discovered just how bad and incompetent I am.
Fuck this fucking life, every time I make a step forward to improve my pathetic life I get taken 2 steps back. I though this time it would begin to finally get better instead I just got a brutal reality check.
So after a long time I finally singed up for BJJ classes I wanted to take months ago. I always liked martial arts and always wanted to practice one. I coped by thinking I could become a good figter after years of training and improve my life situation, make friends and become stronger. Turns out that like always, life smacks in the face that little bit of hope I have.
To begin with, I was never good at sports. I'm an unathletic framelet who was always the slowest kid in class (except for fat kids, but the worst thing is I was skinny but still slow). That being said, I took up BJJ because it emphasises technique over strength and agility and because I'm a fan of martial arts. I thought it would be a good sport for me. Holy shit was I wrong.
So the day came and I entered the changing room, met one guy who was there and changed into tshirt and short cuz I didn't have a Gi yet. Soon others came and they went to put mats on the floor so we can start. I looked for the trainer to meet him. He was talking to someone as I came to him and introduced myself with a fake smile that makes me look like a serial killer because my face is ugly. He actually took a few second to process me because he turned to me and just stood silent for 2-3 seconds before shaking hands and talking to me. He must've been shocked by how ugly I am. Didn't even start training and I already wanted to die jfl.
So on the mat after warmup he started showing a technique, I didn't understand shit and then we had to pair up (incel nightmare, you know it already). Luckily some guy offered to work with me. Long story short I looked like an utter retard trying to do the the thing trainer did even after the guy I paired with showed me multiple times. In the end I let him go train with someone else so I don't waste his time. Then I stood there until trainer (they call him sensei lol) started showing another technique. This time some brown belt guy decided to do it with me but not this technique, just show me the basics of bjj. Again I looked like a total retard trying to put a guard. I thoigh I was retarded like how is this happening I know I'm physically the bottom 1% but this is too much. In the end I sparred with some kid who then went away as well after one round. I was sitting in the corner till the end of class. Like, I know that I'm not supposed to know everything immediately, but this was so embarrasing and bad. I couldn't get the utmost basics of the sport. This is what it looks like to be in the bottom 1% in athleticism, agility and coordination. Utter and complete genetic trash.
Now I have to go and ask for money back because I paid for the full month and hope they'll give it to me, I can't just waste money I don't have like this.
Fuck this fucking life, every time I make a step forward to improve my pathetic life I get taken 2 steps back. I though this time it would begin to finally get better instead I just got a brutal reality check.
So after a long time I finally singed up for BJJ classes I wanted to take months ago. I always liked martial arts and always wanted to practice one. I coped by thinking I could become a good figter after years of training and improve my life situation, make friends and become stronger. Turns out that like always, life smacks in the face that little bit of hope I have.
To begin with, I was never good at sports. I'm an unathletic framelet who was always the slowest kid in class (except for fat kids, but the worst thing is I was skinny but still slow). That being said, I took up BJJ because it emphasises technique over strength and agility and because I'm a fan of martial arts. I thought it would be a good sport for me. Holy shit was I wrong.
So the day came and I entered the changing room, met one guy who was there and changed into tshirt and short cuz I didn't have a Gi yet. Soon others came and they went to put mats on the floor so we can start. I looked for the trainer to meet him. He was talking to someone as I came to him and introduced myself with a fake smile that makes me look like a serial killer because my face is ugly. He actually took a few second to process me because he turned to me and just stood silent for 2-3 seconds before shaking hands and talking to me. He must've been shocked by how ugly I am. Didn't even start training and I already wanted to die jfl.
So on the mat after warmup he started showing a technique, I didn't understand shit and then we had to pair up (incel nightmare, you know it already). Luckily some guy offered to work with me. Long story short I looked like an utter retard trying to do the the thing trainer did even after the guy I paired with showed me multiple times. In the end I let him go train with someone else so I don't waste his time. Then I stood there until trainer (they call him sensei lol) started showing another technique. This time some brown belt guy decided to do it with me but not this technique, just show me the basics of bjj. Again I looked like a total retard trying to put a guard. I thoigh I was retarded like how is this happening I know I'm physically the bottom 1% but this is too much. In the end I sparred with some kid who then went away as well after one round. I was sitting in the corner till the end of class. Like, I know that I'm not supposed to know everything immediately, but this was so embarrasing and bad. I couldn't get the utmost basics of the sport. This is what it looks like to be in the bottom 1% in athleticism, agility and coordination. Utter and complete genetic trash.
Now I have to go and ask for money back because I paid for the full month and hope they'll give it to me, I can't just waste money I don't have like this.
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