Serious I don't have the skills to phone an "escort"

[AutisticMonstrosity]

They respond and say their name, what am I supposed to say as my first words? In normal phone call I would say my name, but I don't want to say my name to the escort. It's not possible to write, only bookings by phone are possible.

Also, I have never ever spoken English on the phone, so I fully expect to not be able to say what I want to say or not understand something. The escorts are Czech (or Romanians who lie being Czech, because they only indicate English in their ads) and I don't speak enough Czech or/and be able to pronounce it. There really aren't local escorts and they would cost double.

What should I say/ask, verify? I plan to say that I'm 30 KHHV. I'll remain kissless, because most don't offer kissing ever and those that offer, don't offer at the moment because of the new coronavirus.

I've heard that they only provide the address at the last moment, not during the booking. That worries me, because I must be sure that I can reach the place by public transport or by bicycle. It's not impossible to see escorts though without a driver's licence and a car. Only street hookers demand a car, because that's where the action happens.

I plan to book 30 minutes.

 

[Joelossus]

No idea, bro. Phone calls are suicidefuel for me. If i was dying of an heart attack, i'd most likely just die, instead of talking to a stranger on the phone. It's so fucking over.

 

[kampman]

They respond and say their name, what am I supposed to say as my first words? In normal phone call I would say my name, but I don't want to say my name to the escort. It's not possible to write, only bookings by phone are possible.

Also, I have never ever spoken English on the phone, so I fully expect to not be able to say what I want to say or not understand something. The escorts are Czech (or Romanians who lie being Czech, because they only indicate English in their ads) and I don't speak enough Czech or/and be able to pronounce it. There really aren't local escorts and they would cost double.

What should I say/ask, verify? I plan to say that I'm 30 KHHV. I'll remain kissless, because most don't offer kissing ever and those that offer, don't offer at the moment because of the new coronavirus.

I've heard that they only provide the address at the last moment, not during the booking. That worries me, because I must be sure that I can reach the place by public transport or by bicycle. It's not impossible to see escorts though without a driver's licence and a car. Only street hookers demand a car, because that's where the action happens.

I plan to book 30 minutes.

Just tell her your name (first name is enough). You may even use a fake name, who cares. She won't be checking your ID.

Use simple English, like "I would like to book an appointment, is that possible?" If they are Czechs or Romanians, their English will probably not be perfect either.

Ask for a price and ask for the services that are included in that price. If she is serious, she will explain it to you.

Don't tell them anything else about yourself, that you're a KHHV. Seriously. It's none of her business, protect your privacy as much as you can. Try to look for one that offers kissing, there are many more nowadays that do.

Yes, the address is a tricky one. Usually, they won't tell the full address, maybe a street name and will only tell the exact address when you call them that you've arrived at that street.

Good luck, it may not be an earth-shattering experience, but at least you will experience some pleasure.

 

[AutisticMonstrosity]

I missed the opportunity with the woman I wanted to see, because I was stuck here all night and slept the day and then it was too late.

It really seems that now that I failed even to hire a prostitute I really would have liked to see, I'll wait until I am 40 years old.

They stay only 2-3 days per location. And fuck all day. Maybe she would not have had free space for me. Should have booked earlier.

protect your privacy as much as you can

Why?

It's not surprising to anybody that a guy with my face condition would resort to this.
I will 100% surely tell that I am virgin before starting to touch her.

 

[MaxZM98]

"hello, is this x? i saw your ad on y.com. are you available today at z time?"

 

[Erny]

I have also tried to call an escort. But before that I did some research and especially escorts from the Balkans do not have a good reputation in Germany. In forums people often complain that the photos are fake and everything costs extra. They also lie motionless during sex.

 

[AutisticMonstrosity]

"hello, is this x? i saw your ad on y.com. are you available today at z time?"

Thank you. It's mostly my lack of conversational English skills. Had not thought that I could just say "Hello" and nothing else.

I have also tried to call an escort. But before that I did some research and especially escorts from the Balkans do not have a good reputation in Germany. In forums people often complain that the photos are fake and everything costs extra. They also lie motionless during sex.

The escort in question was universally well-reviewed.

I have also tried to call an escort.

mogs me. I haven't made it that far. And you are younger than me also.

Whatsapp would be good, many offer bookings through it. But I don't have a smartphone.

 

[Shin no Shi]

Thank you. It's mostly my lack of conversational English skills. Had not thought that I could just say "Hello" and nothing else.

They aren't specifically interested in you, they only care about the money you have stored in the pocket, also don't take a wallet and turn your phone off when meeting her.

 

[Pitar62]

Make sure it's your place bro. I wouldn't walk into a hooker den.

 

[AutisticMonstrosity]

Make sure it's your place bro.

Very few do that and the price is much higher. Also my apartment is so untidy that she would turn away at the door. Also, letting a prostitute in your home is the most dangerous thing in terms of she stealing something. I don't have a place to have sex. Just one small bed for one small person. Also, my neighbours would hear everything and see her coming and leaving.

They aren't specifically interested in you, they only care about the money you have stored in the pocket, also don't take a wallet and turn your phone off when meeting her.

They demand shower first. My fears: I waste too much time on the shower because I am slow. Second, I fear that she will steal something from my coat. I must prepare and take only the exact sum of money and my keys to home and nothing else. But then I can't buy more time or if she demands extra for kissing etc.

I also fear that she will be disgusted by me when she sees that I came by bicycle wearing a biking helmet (and sweating (+ mucus coming from the nose because of cold climate) because of the long distance and maybe I was in hurry because I left too late like is my habit) and not by car like real men. @LastGerman
Edit time expired, here the whole thing:

Make sure it's your place bro.

Very few do that and the price is much higher. Also my apartment is so untidy that she would turn away at the door. Also, letting a prostitute in your home is the most dangerous thing in terms of she stealing something. I don't have a place to have sex. Just one small bed for one small person. Also, my neighbours would hear everything and see her coming and leaving.

They aren't specifically interested in you, they only care about the money you have stored in the pocket, also don't take a wallet and turn your phone off when meeting her.

They demand shower first. My fears: I waste too much time on the shower because I am slow. Second, I fear that she (or someone else, many escorts work as a pair) will steal something from my coat. I must prepare and take only the exact sum of money and my keys to home and nothing else. But then I can't buy more time or if she demands extra for kissing etc. Third, I fear that there are others also present. This is usual case according to reviews. And with Romanians especially, they have panderers. Then it is illegal to buy sex and it is considered a rape by a new law, I heard. So prison sentence + fines and big reparations.

I also fear that she will be disgusted by me when she sees that I came by bicycle wearing a biking helmet (and sweating (+ mucus coming from the nose because of cold climate) because of the long distance and maybe I was in hurry because I left too late like is my habit) and not by car like real men. @LastGerman