I lost so much mental clarity i genuinely can't function anymore. I never had the ability to talk with confidence but it was always just me talking softly, but now i can't even form words i can't think of anything to say so i just sat the absloute minimum like ok or yes or just nod, and my accent changed so much from everyone around me it's barely recognizable. I also can't hear or understadn what poeple are saying I think it's because i lost the ability to understand the accent of poeple i don't see everyday so i ask them to repeat it But even then i can't understand them i just say ok or nod. if someone caughts me of guard i can't even form words i have to think before saying something. i mostly have words that i use so much it's understandable but when it comes to saying uniqe stuff i can't i mess up the grammer say random words. If someone explains something to me most of times i don't undersand it i can't even if i'm listening. I can't do something fast nothing litterly i am slow at everything even if i push myself i don't meet the minimum. when poeple look at me i can see in their eyes they think i'm slow and that i'm extremly dumb to an unatrual level. they speak with me diffrently sometimes they talk slower, sometimes they change their tone, and all emotionless litterly just speaking to me like a dummy who barely functions. Not just the way i interact with poeple i've gotten more stupid on everything i do even everything i do alone. The worst part of it is that i feel and notice everything the emotions going out of their eyes the way they act with me. the way they speak to me. the way they handle me. I can see the hope they had in me fade. i wish i lost my ability to notice and recognize alongside all the other basic human functions.
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