I remember when I was 15-17 i felt alive. I used to skate around town smoking weed and doing drugs with my friends. Now those friends i used to have are miles and miles away from me. And whenever i go back back home i have a hard time connecting with them, because they want the old me. The ‘me’ they are used to. Not the current me.
The only person i have in my life who cares about me is my mother. No im not gonna call her my birth vessel simply because she is the only singular foid who i can actually respect. Literally the only one. Other than that. Everything is just… a joke.
I hate it when people ask me how I’ve been, as if they actually cared. How people sometimes expect me to be the same jolly ass nigga i used to be 10 years ago. Now im older, more miserable, more cynical, not as much of a goofball. I dont want to apologize, because its not my fault life shaped me into what i am today. I changed because i needed to survive.
Sometimes, every one in a while i ask myself what tf am i gonna with my life. The most likely answer is that im going to ropemaxx. Im not asking for advice nor sympathy. Im just stating facts. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not 10 years from now. But one day i will.
It bothers me how i never asked to be alive yet im forced to deal with life’s challenges. And not only that, but my experience of life itself is limited to the parameters i didnt choose (height, race, country, environment) what would it be like to have been raised by a loving white family in the country side? What about a rich kid from Switzerland? What about a famous german actor? I will never know, because my perspective on life is limited to the things I’ve experienced, which in turn is partially limited to my environment which most of the time i didnt choose…
Life is a joke without a punchline man. It’s just… something i guess.
The only person i have in my life who cares about me is my mother. No im not gonna call her my birth vessel simply because she is the only singular foid who i can actually respect. Literally the only one. Other than that. Everything is just… a joke.
I hate it when people ask me how I’ve been, as if they actually cared. How people sometimes expect me to be the same jolly ass nigga i used to be 10 years ago. Now im older, more miserable, more cynical, not as much of a goofball. I dont want to apologize, because its not my fault life shaped me into what i am today. I changed because i needed to survive.
Sometimes, every one in a while i ask myself what tf am i gonna with my life. The most likely answer is that im going to ropemaxx. Im not asking for advice nor sympathy. Im just stating facts. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not 10 years from now. But one day i will.
It bothers me how i never asked to be alive yet im forced to deal with life’s challenges. And not only that, but my experience of life itself is limited to the parameters i didnt choose (height, race, country, environment) what would it be like to have been raised by a loving white family in the country side? What about a rich kid from Switzerland? What about a famous german actor? I will never know, because my perspective on life is limited to the things I’ve experienced, which in turn is partially limited to my environment which most of the time i didnt choose…
Life is a joke without a punchline man. It’s just… something i guess.
cope or rope boyo
