subhuman
Dazed and bedpilled
★★★★★
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2022
- Posts
- 11,517
One of the barriers I have with connecting with people irl is that I am a nobody. When they ask me who I am, what am I into, I can't answer, and it's a great insecurity of mine. Because these things aren't defined for me. I have no hobbies. I have tried to force myself into hobbies, like learning the guitar or making models, but they never really captivate me and I always drop them. Furthermore, I'm not part of any activities or irl groups that could give me any sort of identity. I try to hide this as much as possible, so I can't express myself to other people. Not only that, but I can't bond with other people at all. Because what are we supposed to bond over? We have nothing in common. Because of this, I am a friendless man. When I am not forcing myself to studycel things I'm not interested in so I can get a job, all I do is LDAR.
This is why I have been drawn to loser type forums since I was 14. Because the only thing I can really identify with other people is that we have nothing to identify with since we are outcasts. And this is the crux of the issue. Everything in life is an experience. I have "lived" and "experienced" just as much as anyone else my age. But to have an "identity" your experiences and interests need to conform to social standards. It's not really an identity per se, but a label that you can categorize yourself as and then identify with the people you are conforming to. As an outcast, you are naturally bereft of an identity. If your identity consists of solitary pursuits, you are really just identifying with yourself, which is worth fuckall in the social world which decides who you are. That is how you become nobody.
This is why I have been drawn to loser type forums since I was 14. Because the only thing I can really identify with other people is that we have nothing to identify with since we are outcasts. And this is the crux of the issue. Everything in life is an experience. I have "lived" and "experienced" just as much as anyone else my age. But to have an "identity" your experiences and interests need to conform to social standards. It's not really an identity per se, but a label that you can categorize yourself as and then identify with the people you are conforming to. As an outcast, you are naturally bereft of an identity. If your identity consists of solitary pursuits, you are really just identifying with yourself, which is worth fuckall in the social world which decides who you are. That is how you become nobody.
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