Even positive social interactions drain me.

[Deleted member 7448]

Idk if it's cause of so much time spent isolated and rotting in this life, basically decades of solitude. So maybe I'm unused to social interactions.

Or maybe it's the many negative social experiences making me too self-conscious.

Or maybe I'm just autistic and that's why.

But I guess social interactions are too complicated, they make me anxious. Even after a very positive one, I'm left thinking "omg what did I do weird this time? Did I stutter, did I mispronounce a word, did I mix words up again, was my body language weird?" And things many other things like that.

Spoiler

Obviously, a lot of them are due to my neurocognitive degeneration, I really do feel like my brain has been getting worse and worse. I haven't had a drink in ~4 years and yet I still wonder if those hardcore 2 years of alcoholism didn't fuck my brain up beyond repair. I hope it's just the rotting that's doing the damage, somehow sounds better than brain damage from alcohol poisoning.

That's why I laugh when IT says "just practice your social skills". Would be almost funny if it weren't so cruel. Then it's "just go to therapy bro" lmao.

 

[Haywire]

But I guess social interactions are too complicated, they make me anxious. Even after a very positive one, I'm left thinking "omg what did I do weird this time?

same

 

[Sneepysqar]

"Positive" social interactions require not calling out normie bullshit and pretending to be agreeable. Of course it's draining. The whole thing is an act where you hold yourself back

 

[shepherdcel]

For me it's because crafting, operating and maintaining this facade of a normal, well adjusted person is exhausting and slips without the utmost of effort.

 

[Deleted member 28903]

To me I think it's draining because it causes some psychological pain. When I interact with people I feel a pain which requires energy to bear. Once I run out of that energy I get exhausted and the pain becomes physical.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

For me it's because crafting, operating and maintaining this facade of a normal, well adjusted person is exhausting and slips without the utmost of effort. I've spent so long on the outs, so long in isolation not learning the skills I need and having them languish, constantly having to weather the criticism and exclusion of others.
So even if it goes well or I'm not being maligned, it still takes a lot out of me to run the show.

Bingo, it's exhausting doing it just for a short 1 minute or less conversation. The whole day? That's a fucking marathon, that's hard as fuck and it inevitably slips here and there.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Yeah, I feel the same. It's like a rechargeable battery for me, the more public/high stakes the situation the faster it uses the charge. It depletes with everyone but one though, even friends or family because I just don't know how to be normal anymore. But it feels like the battery is losing charge over time and my total gets smaller and smaller.

People tend to find me out pretty quick nowadays but if I'm totally honest I don't put much into trying to hide anymore.

Damn, that's like me in the future. Luckily I was able to hide out like a hermit in my room for the past ~7 years, I've had very little social interactions, only the strictly mandatory ones. But things will take a 180 in ~May/June, gonna have to get a job, a lot of other changes will happen in my life unfortunately, shit's going down. So I'll have to be very social the whole day, shit's gonna suck. Hopefully I can figure out a good business plan instead of finding a job by then, but I've tried for years and couldn't figure anything out so I should just abandon this dream. Especially in this shithole country, what kind of business can you even have in a country where everybody is making $300 a month?

 

[Deleted member 32471]

I feel the same too. As much as it's great to have positive social interactions, it's super draining. Having to think of things to say and make sure I'm not acting weird tires me tremendously but it ends up being totally worth it in the end.

I'm sure if I did it more often and didn't live such an unhealthy lifestyle I'd be fine though.

 

[Deleted member 32431]

i've had too many monologues with myself than conversations with others
for more than a decade , on top of limited social interaction
i m clearly seeing the bad impacts on me

 

[your personality]

"Positive" social interactions require not calling out normie bullshit and pretending to be agreeable. Of course it's draining. The whole thing is an act where you hold yourself back

 

[kikecel]

"positive" social interactions are only beneficial for chads.