Often my brain will look at the complete and utter shit that I am living in and want to scream out. I will get a burst of energy for just one short second, and my brain does not know whether to scream or fight or do anything to improve this shit life. and then as quickly as it came, I realize that I have exhausted every opportunity and avenue. I have done everything I can try and still I am humiliated for not having done enough. Quickly, the brain fog rolls back in and I re-enter a confused state of stupor where nothing makes sense and I can't think. I then sit in this gray numbness for days or weeks until my brain screams out once more and the cycle continues. When i am in this confused state i cant get anything done, i have no motivation, i zone out constantly, i cant finish my own thoughts, and i am so lacking in energy that even focusing my eyes becomes a chore
