Does anyone else get sent into an immediate er spiral whenever getting stared at in public?

[trrrrrsarescary]

It's been like this since I first noticed the stares but in recent years it's gotten especially intense and overwhelming, I will go outside and some normie shit for brains piss for blood monkey will stare at me and I'll immediately get sent into this uncontrollable spiral of the most hateful vicious evil anger where I start imagining crashing the fuck out and beating them absolutely senseless and torturing them in all these fucked up excruciating ways, it lasts anywhere from an hour to a few hours and then it just ends and I feel really flat and emotionless for a while after or sometimes I'll feel chilled out and happy and feel completely stupid and ashamed to be thinking those thoughts, sometimes I can trigger it from just randomly remembering a particular stare from someone and it will set this whole spiral off

Sometimes I can a week without having this but then I'll get stared at and it starts all over again, it's pretty disenheartening because it really makes me realise just how much damage people and their shitty treatment of me have done to my brain, like my brain really is fucking rotten at this point I'm basically just fucked

 

[AutismKing]

It is the autism, it makes you subhuman

 

[trrrrrsarescary]

It is the autism, it makes you subhuman

I still feel bad getting such evil thoughts, I think I'll actually crash out big time soon and get myself thrown in grippy sock jail

 

[Pancakecel]

Absolutely, its because you want to get your own back, so we have these power fantasy's, as a way of trying to cope with what we felt was mistreatment.

I have that multiple times a day. It's like a cauldron, filled with bad memories, that at any moment my brain can reach into and pick something to replay, in turn inducing anger and frustration.

 

[trrrrrsarescary]

Absolutely, its because you want to get your own back, so we have these power fantasy's, as a way of trying to cope with what we felt was mistreatment.

I have that multiple times a day. It's like a cauldron, filled with bad memories, that at any moment my brain can reach into and pick something to replay, in turn inducing anger and frustration.

The cauldron is an apt description because it feels like my brain is getting boiled alive in anger during these episodes, I'll be just sat there eating dinner with my parents whilst having these frenzied thoughts of crashing the fuck out at the gym and saying the most vile horrible shit to people and they're none the wiser to the absolute storm going on in my mind

 

[Shitpostr]

It is the autism, it makes you subhuman

 

[AutismKing]

This town is too small for both of us bro...
Only one will come out alive

 

[Hateful Mulattocel]

It's been like this since I first noticed the stares but in recent years it's gotten especially intense and overwhelming, I will go outside and some normie shit for brains piss for blood monkey will stare at me and I'll immediately get sent into this uncontrollable spiral of the most hateful vicious evil anger where I start imagining crashing the fuck out and beating them absolutely senseless and torturing them in all these fucked up excruciating ways, it lasts anywhere from an hour to a few hours and then it just ends and I feel really flat and emotionless for a while after or sometimes I'll feel chilled out and happy and feel completely stupid and ashamed to be thinking those thoughts, sometimes I can trigger it from just randomly remembering a particular stare from someone and it will set this whole spiral off

Sometimes I can a week without having this but then I'll get stared at and it starts all over again, it's pretty disenheartening because it really makes me realise just how much damage people and their shitty treatment of me have done to my brain, like my brain really is fucking rotten at this point I'm basically just fucked

This is why you should just LDAR rather than going out.