Deleted member 7448
Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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- Joined
- May 16, 2018
- Posts
- 7,127
So many times I don't post what I write, simply because while writing I remember yet another way in which I'm screwed up, and the post becomes derailed and I'd just start complaining about the other thing, so I just delete the whole mess.
It's just too much. I'm not mentally ill like you would think of a psycho or a schizophrenic. But for someone that can appear relatively normal, I'm as screwed up as it gets. Sometimes I feel like the things I write in my posts couldn't possible be taken literally, like some normal person reading this would think I'm trolling or exaggerating. But unfortunately when I say stuff like I'm spending 16 hours a day laying in bed just rotting with my laptop next to me and have done so for many years, I mean it.
Idk, there's just too much. Way too many problems, even if I started working on several of them there'd be a whole other bunch dragging me down. It's just unfixable it really is, even if I completely transformed and had the motivation to change my life once and for all, it's just too much wrong. Plus, the damage to my life is far too great by now.
It's just too much. I'm not mentally ill like you would think of a psycho or a schizophrenic. But for someone that can appear relatively normal, I'm as screwed up as it gets. Sometimes I feel like the things I write in my posts couldn't possible be taken literally, like some normal person reading this would think I'm trolling or exaggerating. But unfortunately when I say stuff like I'm spending 16 hours a day laying in bed just rotting with my laptop next to me and have done so for many years, I mean it.
Idk, there's just too much. Way too many problems, even if I started working on several of them there'd be a whole other bunch dragging me down. It's just unfixable it really is, even if I completely transformed and had the motivation to change my life once and for all, it's just too much wrong. Plus, the damage to my life is far too great by now.