Depressed. I am having violent murder-suicide intrusive thoughts / fantasies again. What should I do?

[Deleted member 44275]

Whenever I see a woman around my age I have an urge to violently attack her. Sometimes when I’m driving and see young women, I think about speeding up my car and running into them. I hate having these thoughts, I just wish I was normal, but I realized these thoughts are coming from a place of internalized hatred for women due to my inceldom. I have built up rage and feel like I will snap.

I don’t want to have to put myself back in a psych ward again but I’m not sure what to do, I feel like I’m reaching a breaking point again.

I’m on several different medications for my schizophrenia, bipolar, and ADHD but I feel like none of it’s working anymore. I still feel so lonely and broken.

 

[Deleted member 44275]

I won’t go back to the psych ward because if I do they’ll put me in a long term facility which means I could be there for up to 6 months which would feel like hell.

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

Escort maxx maybe? Idk

 

[Deleted member 44275]

Escort maxx maybe? Idk

I don’t have enough money for this and even if it did it wouldn’t help my situation. I crave much more than just sex, I would like a relationship - someone I can do things with.

 

[war_with_myself]

again? this is my life for the past ten plus years

 

[Deleted member 44275]

again? this is my life for the past ten plus years

Yeah, I started meds about a month ago and was feeling pretty good but now I feel bad again.

 

[Diocel]

how did u end up in the loonie bin in the first place?

 

[Deleted member 44275]

how did u end up in the loonie bin in the first place?

Checked myself in. Near-suicide attempt.

 

[Diocel]

Checked myself in. Near-suicide attempt.

kinda of stupid putting urself on a list but guess u cant think straight when ur loosing it

why didnt u kill urself, dont u wanna die?

 

[Deleted member 44275]

kinda of stupid putting urself on a list but guess u cant think straight when ur loosing it

I was already probably on a list before I checked myself in. A day after I checked myself into the hospital, the FBI was apparently at my door again (according to my parents who were home when they came looking for me).

why didnt u kill urself, dont u wanna die?

As some others have said, if I were to commit suicide, I’d want to get my revenge against those who wronged me.

 

[ForevER_Manlet]

I'd check with my doc to up or adjust my meds, if they works a couple of weeks ago.

 

[Lonesome Bright]

I don’t have enough money for this and even if it did it wouldn’t help my situation. I crave much more than just sex, I would like a relationship - someone I can do things with.

your not alone me too that is why I am here. may I follow you?

 

[Deleted member 44275]

your not alone me too that is why I am here. may I follow you?

Sure

 

[Lonesome Bright]

Sure

mate you want to unload your fury get a load of this bitch that has somehow made an incel account

Hi, I am a girl and I'm new to this forum.

Please white-knight me and send me PM's even though I have provided no evidence at all you useless piece of shit incels. Oh, and please make this topic 5 pages long just because it is possible that I have tits or a vagina. I would also appreciate it if you would please kill yourselves

incels.is

feel free to lay into her I already have done.

 

[LeFrenchCel]

Fulfill your fantasies in video game

 

[lifefuel]

Don't do anything dangERous, that's for sure

 

[Snhook]

Fulfill your fantasies in video game

 

[AsiaCel]

Don't do anything dangERous, that's for sure

 

[Mr Bubbless]

Fulfill your fantasies in video game

Gmod is good practice for video games