I just want to be fucking normal… why does the black pill have to be true? I fucking wish this was somehow in my control. I’d gladly work a thousand fucking years if it meant I could experience pure love without all this degeneracy. Without being cheated on, played on, mocked by the same people I’m supposed to bond. I fucking hate my life so much… why? I didn’t do anything bad to deserve it. I was just born into this fucking body, yet that somehow makes me evil and free to be ridiculed and makes it okay to mentally abuse me simply because I cannot stand being alone anymore? Just because I was born ugly and short? That’s why it’s okay for me to rot like a piece of used cloth until I decompose?
This isn’t a life, this is hell. This is yoke. This is for life. I have to exist like this and put up a strong front, otherwise I will be torn apart by hyenas. By psychopaths. I just want to be loved for fucks sake. That’s it… I want to know what’s it like to be loved… I don’t give a shit about all this Chad, Chad this, Chad that, Stacy this Stacy that… I just want to find someone who will love me, not use me for money, not dispose of me and hurt me just because I break after so much abuse I have sustained… why is that entitled?! What is it that those people cannot understand! That we aren’t happy, that we’re suffering? God. I’m so fucking sick of everything. I want to die. Dying is better than living in this miserable, loveless existence.
How is me not wanting to live a miserable life full of suffering entitled?!