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Hi Mumsnet! This is my first post so I'm sorry if it's in the wrong place...
My only son (I won't say his name in case he finds out (he spends a lot of time on the internet)) is 22 years old.
Up until the age of 16, he was a normal teenager. He would show interest in girls (though with mixed successes) and was a little too interested with computers, but other than that he was fine.
However, when he was 16, I got divorced from his father for reasons I'd rather not go into, but it had a profound effect on my son, despite attempts at mediation between him and his father.
He dropped out of A-Levels and has refused to leave the house or get a job since. He stays awake late and plays video games for incredibly long periods of time. He plays this online game which he says he can't stop playing so he has a tendency to wee into drank coke bottles so he doesn't have to leave his computer (I have to empty them out myself because he can't be bothered).
I want to get him to put his life on track but I feel so guilty over the divorce. I feel like it's my fault. To try and make him get a job or go back to college, I have instituted a system I call "good boy points", something I have seen parents do with younger children. I award small points for things like putting the toilet seat down after he has used it or for washing up his plate. For five "good boy points" he can get his favourite dinner (Chicken Tenders or "tendies").
The ultimate prize is a brand new computer at 1000 good boy points, which he can get if he gets a job or goes back to college.
Since I have instituted this system, he has gotten worse. He frequently flies into fits of rage when I refuse to go to the shop and buy him some Chicken Tenders and smashes things up when he loses at his games. I once told him to quieten down at two in the morning and he threw one of his full up coke bottles over me and told me to leave.
I am at a loss. Have any of you had trouble with this before? I love him so much but it can't go on this way.
Thank you for your help.
Janice"
Btw the original thread is still online on mumsnet and many believed it was a true story
www.mumsnet.com
Hi Mumsnet! This is my first post so I'm sorry if it's in the wrong place...
My only son (I won't say his name in case he finds out (he spends a lot of time on the internet)) is 22 years old.
Up until the age of 16, he was a normal teenager. He would show interest in girls (though with mixed successes) and was a little too interested with computers, but other than that he was fine.
However, when he was 16, I got divorced from his father for reasons I'd rather not go into, but it had a profound effect on my son, despite attempts at mediation between him and his father.
He dropped out of A-Levels and has refused to leave the house or get a job since. He stays awake late and plays video games for incredibly long periods of time. He plays this online game which he says he can't stop playing so he has a tendency to wee into drank coke bottles so he doesn't have to leave his computer (I have to empty them out myself because he can't be bothered).
I want to get him to put his life on track but I feel so guilty over the divorce. I feel like it's my fault. To try and make him get a job or go back to college, I have instituted a system I call "good boy points", something I have seen parents do with younger children. I award small points for things like putting the toilet seat down after he has used it or for washing up his plate. For five "good boy points" he can get his favourite dinner (Chicken Tenders or "tendies").
The ultimate prize is a brand new computer at 1000 good boy points, which he can get if he gets a job or goes back to college.
Since I have instituted this system, he has gotten worse. He frequently flies into fits of rage when I refuse to go to the shop and buy him some Chicken Tenders and smashes things up when he loses at his games. I once told him to quieten down at two in the morning and he threw one of his full up coke bottles over me and told me to leave.
I am at a loss. Have any of you had trouble with this before? I love him so much but it can't go on this way.
Thank you for your help.
Janice"
Btw the original thread is still online on mumsnet and many believed it was a true story
Please help my adult son with his issues? - Mumsnet
Hi Mumsnet! This is my first post so I'm sorry if it's in the wrong place... My only son (I won't say his name in case he finds out (he spends a lo...
www.mumsnet.com
