You are few years younger than my dad and he is still bluepilled as fuck. I dont get it when others ask oldcels
"how did you last so long" "how you didnt rope"
In my case, i dont know how and what i will think in 10, 20 years but i presume it will be the same. After some age you get used to just existing, living one mundane day after another one, when youre older, you start liking peace and quiet and familiar things. Many of us dont have it in them to do violent acts and our suvival instincts are too strong to raise the hand on ourselves. When you fight for bare survival since early age, you get used to clinging onto life no matter how hard it gets, like cockroaches or rats.
You're really a great guy and im glad i met you here.