Venting anyone else have terrible self esteem?

[Cobalt1257]

i know my question sounds dumb as pretty much every incel thinks poorly of themselves, but i'm talking absolutely ABYSMAL levels here. like to the point where it actually has an effect on your ability to function.

example 1: last week i went to the store and bought a chocolate bar. when i brought it up to the counter (no self checkouts at a gss station) i couldn't even look at the cashier because i knew that he was probably going "fuck this little piece of subhuman shit wasting my time" in his head.
example 2: at school i absolutely refuse to work in groups because i know that i'm a burden. one time in middle school when i got assigned to an all-foid group i literally walked out of the classroom and cried in the hallway because i thought they were going to berate me for just existing and ruining their group.

 

[SocialzERo]

i know my question sounds dumb as pretty much every incel thinks poorly of themselves, but i'm talking absolutely ABYSMAL levels here. like to the point where it actually has an effect on your ability to function.

example 1: last week i went to the store and bought a chocolate bar. when i brought it up to the counter (no self checkouts at a gss station) i couldn't even look at the cashier because i knew that he was probably going "fuck this little piece of subhuman shit wasting my time" in his head.
example 2: at school i absolutely refuse to work in groups because i know that i'm a burden. one time in middle school when i got assigned to an all-foid group i literally walked out of the classroom and cried in the hallway because i thought they were going to berate me for just existing and ruining their group.

Sounds like social anxiety to me. I have it too but at the same time, I'm somewhat a narcissist with a strong need to be admired.

 

[Reclusemaxxer]

You’re asking Incels of all people if they have low self esteem

 

[Acion1]

I used to

 

[Scilence]

Yes, I fear for my life. My father was never around to teach me to how to defend myself and I get mogged by everyone. My muscle gain is incredbly low as well, I can't go over 140 pounds even with daily bench press etc.

 

[Cobalt1257]

stop investing value in self biased shit. There are far more important condemnations to sexlessness and you waste any possibility you have to ascend, literally making yourself weaker because you get overwhelmed by your own life, thats stupid and bluepilled about your significance.
People perceive you inadequately already, and as incel, what you think about yourself has barely any impact so why waste your mind space creating your own misery that nobody even knows about when there is real misery in loneliness. What is the real risk? What do you lose? Oh no im still alone! people see you as incel already why the fuck do you care if they think your a virgin or a quiet virgin. not applicable to truecels there are far greater condemnations to sexlessness than this

so? whats he going to do, not sell you the chocolate? if not, why does it matter if he hates me, i hate him, ill take the chocolate and lose no mind space

i know it's stupid as hell but i just can't help it. it probably has something to do with my tism. I might just need to take the "just don't give a fuck" pill tbh

 

[BornToLose]

I think minimum wage jobs are above me 'cause I'm such an ugly retarded basketcase drunkard loser.