I feel like a lifetime of solitude is inevitable. I can fix my face with plastic surgery, but I'll still be an off-white, bald heightcel who will be despised by femoids from the womb to the tomb. Whenever I think about love, my mind just covers it up with "NO!". Interactions with people make me sick to my stomach because of my face. I find myself breathing heavy and wanting to cry as soon as I remember how over it is for me. Often throughout the day, just the thought of foids makes me feel like I'm about to collapse. I can feel the cold, wet darkness of female energy waging war against my soul. I literally LDAR sometimes, like no matter what I'm doing, I'll just lay down and try to hold back the tears... just helplessly glued to the floor, uncomfortably meditating on the despair of my existence and the abomination that is my face. Losing weight, feeling heavier. Sleeping more, feeling more tired. I think my body knows it's over and is trying to tell me something.
