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Serious Anybody else who never wanted to grow up?

Joelossus

Joelossus

high T af, and a psychopath
-
Joined
Mar 25, 2019
Posts
10,744
And i'm not meaning restrospectively. After all it's easy wishing yourself to be a kid again, once you grew up to be an incel. But i'm talking about back when you actually were a kid.

I remember getting really angry/ feeling frustrated, whenever my parents, or any other adult for that matter. Would mention anything regarding adulthood. Like it would always make me feel like i'm unfit for it. Like whatever i'd do would only result in failure.

I couldn't get my head around the fact that life is an endless competetion for recources. I don't think i ever wanted to accept this basic fact. It felt alien to me, that my parents, ( who arguably only want the best for me) forced me into competing in this endless struggle.

Whenever things like how important it is to have a well paying job, or impressing someone of the opposite were mentioned. I'd feel a great sense of disgust. Like things weren't right the way they were. I shouldn't have to participate in this futile shit. It's all animalistic garbage. We should've already evolved past this primal stage. This simply isn't right.

Idk exactly why i used to feel like this, but i'm sure you get the point. Also basically all the rewards that we could potentially obtain by participating in this inherently shit test, don't seem to justify the price every single one of us had to pay.

People like to virtue signal about their ability to endure, or how they find meaning in this shit. But if you ask me they're deluded. There's no earthly reward justifying this bullshit, nor is there any evidence suggesting that there is an desired end for anything sentient, that finds itself in this state.

To conclude this post, i will say that even if you go down the existentialist route, you will still find yourself struggling. And just because you pretend to enjoy your struggle, or try to find meaning in it. Doesn't means you're in any way showing life that you're indifferent to it's cruelties. You're just giving in to it/ accepting your faith. You've become a slave with a slightly different moral code. To truly acsend means to set yourself free from any biological chains, and to open yourself up for the inevitably oblivon.
 
Nah, I've always been jealous of people my age who have actual lives.
 
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I was sheltered for all of my life, so yeah, pretty much. I always didn't know what to do in "adulting" because my parents never really told me anything, so anything concerning "adult" activity would be scary to me. I literally had to take classes and teach myself to be able to live independently when I was in my later years of high school and it made me feel better. Now I live independently for most of the year and I'm comfortable with it.
 
sometimes I think im just fucked in this life.
thats why I believe in reincarnation and maybe I will be reborn as chad in the next life.
seriously life is meaningless thats true but you can give your life a meaning, I know that sentence is trite af and I heard it a lot but theres some truth in it if you think about it.
A lot of people are just illisioned that they have a "happy" life with well-paid job, happy relationship and shit but their lifes are as meaningless as yours and mine.
Does that made sense? Im high af.
 
No, when I was a kid I couldn't wait to be an adult, now I want to go back
 
I arguably never grew up, I'm still doing the same shit I was as a kid (vidya, LDAR alone in my room) except now I have to work to support myself
 
Lol I thought you were @gymletethnicel with the avatar. In seriousness I agree, I'm sick of the constant rat race for resources just to ensure you'll stay alive, and whenever you get a necessity someone else is being screwed. Seriously I just wish there was something else, an alternative to all of this, but there isn't, it's binary either you work a shit job you hate to live or live out in the streets. I fucking hate this.

But on the flipside as a kid, you don't have much say in anything, you go to a school where kids bully you? Tough shit, you have no options since school is government mandated. Hate going to a babysitter or daycare that treats you like crap? Too bad, you're a kid, you can't be left alone in the house without adult supervision.

Seriously though it really sucks as a kid or adult. I really sometimes wished the state and government didn't exist and we can live in small tribes where everyone knows each other and enjoys working with each other. But alas we don't live in such a world.
 
Yeah. I hated the idea of getting older. I knew that with my issues and the world as it is, childhood would be the last time I'd be close to even with people my age.
 
I was too deluded back then. I bought into the bluepilled movies/media about late bloomers, I kept thinking I'd eventually turn everything around somehow. When I was in gradeschool I said I would make friends in high-school. When I was in highschool I said I'd get a life in college. Once I got to college I basically became a NEET except for studying.

In reality everything is decided from birth and how you were raised. Life is deterministic and any effort to break the mould you were made in is futile. The only people who change or improve are those who were born with the potential capability and also given the resources to do so.
 
Same, When you take out 8 hours for sleep and hour or 2 for commute, over half of day you work for greedy company or for the state that gives nothing in return, i actually never grew up, my life is the same as when i was 13yo. Are you millennial? i noticed we are the peter pan generation.
 
School was prison. I would have been better off not going to school.
 
In reality everything is decided from birth and how you were raised. Life is deterministic and any effort to break the mould you were made in is futile.
Yeah you can rage and struggle but you cant change who you are.
 
having no achievements, just studying all day like a good cuckold droid for all your life and no gf or any progress in anything fucks you up
 
sometimes I think im just fucked in this life.
thats why I believe in reincarnation and maybe I will be reborn as chad in the next life.
I think inceldom is a trial I have to cope with and I will go to hell because I'm falling
No, when I was a kid I couldn't wait to be an adult, now I want to go back
Seriously though it really sucks as a kid or adult. I really sometimes wished the state and government didn't exist and we can live in small tribes where everyone knows each other and enjoys working with each other. But alas we don't live in such a world
 
I wish I could have stayed age 10 forever. I was much happier then.
 
I wasn’t excited at all about growing up , I knew things were just going to get worse
 
I only wanted to finish my high school years, it was a painful experience, frankly I wanted to become adult so that people stopped bullying me in uni.
My life got fucked by the biggest bully in life: College entrance exam. I want to die. Too afraid of the pain thus I won't commit suicide.
 
Yes. I actually even remember writing down this wish on a sheet of paper.
 
I wanted to be neet forever. I wanna play video games, east junk food and never have to work
 
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I arguably never grew up, I'm still doing the same shit I was as a kid (vidya, LDAR alone in my room) except now I have to work to support myself
 
Yeah I didn't wanna grow up. I dreaded high school even and thought I wouldn't succeed at it. Well I didn't I guess. Dropped out but at least got GED. don't really feel grown up now.... My room has stuffed animals and Legos and other toys and posters all over my walls and its not me trying to be retro or whatever I literally just like that stuff.
 
Nah it was opposite for me. I always wanted to be a grown up adult. Be financially stable and independent.
 
i knew i didnt want to be like my dad, but was too young and bluepilled to know the deeper causes of why

i could tell he had so many responsibilies, with so little reward, a wife bitching about everything, etc

growing up seemed awful if it was going to be that kind of life

little did i realize that it wouldn't even be an option for me since i'd become too ugly to even get a loyal wife
 
Yep, I didn’t even want to move up to high school
 
I thought you were @gymletethnicel for a minute.
 
School was prison. I would have been better off not going to school.
same wageslavery is alot more tolerable than school imo. I get paid and afford copes and less mogging on average
 
I was sheltered for all of my life, so yeah, pretty much. I always didn't know what to do in "adulting" because my parents never really told me anything, so anything concerning "adult" activity would be scary to me. I literally had to take classes and teach myself to be able to live independently when I was in my later years of high school and it made me feel better. Now I live independently for most of the year and I'm comfortable with it.
Mogs me tbh. I'm still incapable of living independently.
I arguably never grew up, I'm still doing the same shit I was as a kid (vidya, LDAR alone in my room) except now I have to work to support myself
Same tbh. Exept my parents actually support this life style.
Lol I thought you were @gymletethnicel with the avatar. In seriousness I agree, I'm sick of the constant rat race for resources just to ensure you'll stay alive, and whenever you get a necessity someone else is being screwed. Seriously I just wish there was something else, an alternative to all of this, but there isn't, it's binary either you work a shit job you hate to live or live out in the streets. I fucking hate this.

But on the flipside as a kid, you don't have much say in anything, you go to a school where kids bully you? Tough shit, you have no options since school is government mandated. Hate going to a babysitter or daycare that treats you like crap? Too bad, you're a kid, you can't be left alone in the house without adult supervision.

Seriously though it really sucks as a kid or adult. I really sometimes wished the state and government didn't exist and we can live in small tribes where everyone knows each other and enjoys working with each other. But alas we don't live in such a world.
high iq. Seriously this world just sucks for people like us, no matter what age we are.
 
And i'm not meaning restrospectively. After all it's easy wishing yourself to be a kid again, once you grew up to be an incel. But i'm talking about back when you actually were a kid.

I remember getting really angry/ feeling frustrated, whenever my parents, or any other adult for that matter. Would mention anything regarding adulthood. Like it would always make me feel like i'm unfit for it. Like whatever i'd do would only result in failure.

I couldn't get my head around the fact that life is an endless competetion for recources. I don't think i ever wanted to accept this basic fact. It felt alien to me, that my parents, ( who arguably only want the best for me) forced me into competing in this endless struggle.

Whenever things like how important it is to have a well paying job, or impressing someone of the opposite were mentioned. I'd feel a great sense of disgust. Like things weren't right the way they were. I shouldn't have to participate in this futile shit. It's all animalistic garbage. We should've already evolved past this primal stage. This simply isn't right.

Idk exactly why i used to feel like this, but i'm sure you get the point. Also basically all the rewards that we could potentially obtain by participating in this inherently shit test, don't seem to justify the price every single one of us had to pay.

People like to virtue signal about their ability to endure, or how they find meaning in this shit. But if you ask me they're deluded. There's no earthly reward justifying this bullshit, nor is there any evidence suggesting that there is an desired end for anything sentient, that finds itself in this state.

To conclude this post, i will say that even if you go down the existentialist route, you will still find yourself struggling. And just because you pretend to enjoy your struggle, or try to find meaning in it. Doesn't means you're in any way showing life that you're indifferent to it's cruelties. You're just giving in to it/ accepting your faith. You've become a slave with a slightly different moral code. To truly acsend means to set yourself free from any biological chains, and to open yourself up for the inevitably oblivon.
I’ve wanted to be 15 forever

dn rd just read the title instead
 
I think only trough may faith this diminished more or less. Without it I would probably desire to be 15 endlessly. Alone the knowledge, that as ugly, untalented guy even the small joys adulthood promises wouldn't be there for me, only pain and void. I would live then more and more in my head, because reality of aging and working etc. wouldn't go on par with this wish.

I think inceldom is a trial I have to cope with and I will go to hell because I'm falling
IDK about the trial think, but nobody has to go to hell.
 

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