Im gonna be 25 in 4 months, my time here was lived in anguish and isolation. There’s nothing I would cherish on my deathbed that Ive memories of other than some hyperfixations of mine, I am a lonely desperate man, last among the last.
Sometimes Ive stumbled in front objectively uglier dudes than me (or maybe I just cannot understand how uncanny I really am) being happy with a girl, very attractive even, and as many measurements I can make in that fraction of time, I really cannot answer “why not me?”. It isn’t the girl, but the fact that he was chosen, and I was not. I was never. What makes me so so unbearable to be loved, to have my feelings reciprocated? Is it ndpill? Or how I move my mouth with my retard bloated lower lip, my overdeveloped masseters, or how my back is completely hunched forward and fucked?
But yet, Ive a full head of hair, Im not short, Im skinny, and I even have some of the allegedly “psl” traits many envy on others, but there has to be some primal reason for why I am so alone and outcasted. There has to be one I mean, If nothing was wrong with me that meant blackpill was false, and it never misses. But sincerely, if u asked me, I don’t know what I should really fix to be desired. Maybe Im so alienated from the amount of time I spent looking at the mirror that Im loosing touch with reality and meaning. Im becoming crazy, schizophrenic, whatever severe loneliness brings to a man in his fundamental years.
Sometimes Ive stumbled in front objectively uglier dudes than me (or maybe I just cannot understand how uncanny I really am) being happy with a girl, very attractive even, and as many measurements I can make in that fraction of time, I really cannot answer “why not me?”. It isn’t the girl, but the fact that he was chosen, and I was not. I was never. What makes me so so unbearable to be loved, to have my feelings reciprocated? Is it ndpill? Or how I move my mouth with my retard bloated lower lip, my overdeveloped masseters, or how my back is completely hunched forward and fucked?
But yet, Ive a full head of hair, Im not short, Im skinny, and I even have some of the allegedly “psl” traits many envy on others, but there has to be some primal reason for why I am so alone and outcasted. There has to be one I mean, If nothing was wrong with me that meant blackpill was false, and it never misses. But sincerely, if u asked me, I don’t know what I should really fix to be desired. Maybe Im so alienated from the amount of time I spent looking at the mirror that Im loosing touch with reality and meaning. Im becoming crazy, schizophrenic, whatever severe loneliness brings to a man in his fundamental years.
