SuicideFuel Work update - how can I survive this for 6-10 months?

[The Wolf]

I'm feeling a tightness in my chest and stomach right now. I feel sad and scared. Tomorrow morning at 7 AM I have to take 2 trains to work. I will be there at 9:15 am, so I have to work longer in the evening. I will then go to the small room (w. kitchen) in the farmhouse 10 minutes away, I rented the room, it's very cheap. I have to move to another (cheap) studio in April. I can always go home again on Thursday evening on even fuller trains and train-stations. I can work from home Friday and Monday. Working on Friday is much easier. I should be working right now, should work until 6 PM if I don't cheat.

I am 29 years old. The loneliness there is horrible, not because of its location but because I am away. I can barely survive without parent support. Last week and this week my mom bought groceries I can take with me, but mostly I will just need to do it on my own. The weekends are too short. I will just have to sit in my room in the evenings. No girlfriend, ever. Knowing that makes me sad. Although even if I did get one she would cheat. Just lying around, like in a prison cell. The apartment from April onwards will be in the middle of town but close to work, and I really hate going outside especially if it's sunny and summer and evenings. Now I'm on a farm but I need to take the bus to work and back. But it's also lonely.

Is this what I will feel every Monday afternoon and evening? I think yes. I always felt like this when I went to school. My parents won't allow me to neetbux, especially my dad. I am dependent on them due to my autism. Now I feel very scared and sad, not only of the coming week, but the coming months. I have to stay this job minimum 6 months, max 10 months.

I really want to either die right now or just go into hiding. I feel so scared and sad. This will be a cycle for the next half year minimum. Always waiting until I'm in my mom's house again Thursday evening. Nothing much to look forward to.

If you read to the end, thank you.

 

[wasted12years]

Sounds rough. You have to put up with it, i know it sucks. I actually worked 11 days straight just now and had like 3 days off. This is my last day off and tomorrow i'm going back to work again. The life of a wageslave sucks but it sounds like your job is more free than mine. I also have like 1hr and 20 mins travel to my job. I always come home to an empty cabin in the woods, every single day. I remember, atleast you have a bigger dick than me. I only have a 4.5 inch dick.

 

[grimlockcel]

Being homeless isnt that bad depending on where you live, I would view the situation as if you had nothing to lose and therefore you can adapt to it and succeed no matter what.

 

[ihatelife2]

I'm sorry brother, you can talk to us. It sounds scary being apart from your parents. Loneliness kills.

 

[The Wolf]

Being homeless isnt that bad depending on where you live, I would view the situation as if you had nothing to lose and therefore you can adapt to it and succeed no matter what.

Ahh... I am sorry if I made that impression. I can't express myself well. I'm not actually homeless but also by no means rich. I appreciate your words of wisdom though! I live in my mom's house with her, for the past 6 years I could just half-NEET because I studied fully remotely. My problems are my 5'4" height and much more a problem is my deformed face, I have social anxiety due to it. The doctors also said, you have autism, between level 1 and 2. My life will just be mostly suffering for the next 6 months minimum. Especially summers are bad.

I can go home to my mom on Thursday evening. And leave again on Tuesday morning. I cannot commute everyday as it's just too far. I am 29, by the way.

 

[The Wolf]

Sounds rough. You have to put up with it, i know it sucks. I actually worked 11 days straight just now and had like 3 days off. This is my last day off and tomorrow i'm going back to work again. The life of a wageslave sucks but it sounds like your job is more free than mine. I also have like 1hr and 20 mins travel to my job. I always come home to an empty cabin in the woods, every single day. I remember, atleast you have a bigger dick than me. I only have a 4.5 inch dick.

Oh that is brutal. Although I am 5'4" and deformed, that is why I have social anxiety. I have 6 inches. But girls have always been repulsed by me, I am 29 and never have I seen interest. Your job sounds brutal.

 

[The Wolf]

I'm sorry brother, you can talk to us. It sounds scary being apart from your parents. Loneliness kills.

Thank you fren, I appreciate it. I am 29 but I am like a child, look 18 and deformed, I am 5'4" and have no social skills. I live with my mom, I am used to half-neeting for past 6 years due to my fully online learning.
I look forward to Thursday evening but the people on the train are not nice to me. They see I am different.

 

[ihatelife2]

Thank you fren, I appreciate it. I am 29 but I am like a child, look 18 and deformed, I am 5'4" and have no social skills. I live with my mom, I am used to half-neeting for past 6 years due to my fully online learning.
I look forward to Thursday evening but the people on the train are not nice to me. They see I am different.

The train sounds really uncomfortable for ND people like ourselves. I'm a bit shorter than you never talk to anyone but family (and barely that) and am older than you if it makes you feel less alone. Where's your dad then

 

[The Wolf]

The train sounds really uncomfortable for ND people like ourselves. I'm a bit shorter than you never talk to anyone but family (and barely that) and am older than you if it makes you feel less alone. Where's your dad then

I see....yes it is brutal for us. He doesn't live here anymore. He also wasn't very nice to me.

 

[The Wolf]

The train sounds really uncomfortable for ND people like ourselves. I'm a bit shorter than you never talk to anyone but family (and barely that) and am older than you if it makes you feel less alone. Where's your dad then

In the office of 10 people, I feel much more comfortable than on the train or even walking outside. Not because it's unsafe but because I feel very uncomfortable.

 

[grimlockcel]

Ahh... I am sorry if I made that impression. I can't express myself well. I'm not actually homeless but also by no means rich. I appreciate your words of wisdom though! I live in my mom's house with her, for the past 6 years I could just half-NEET because I studied fully remotely. My problems are my 5'4" height and much more a problem is my deformed face, I have social anxiety due to it. The doctors also said, you have autism, between level 1 and 2. My life will just be mostly suffering for the next 6 months minimum. Especially summers are bad.

I can go home to my mom on Thursday evening. And leave again on Tuesday morning. I cannot commute everyday as it's just too far. I am 29, by the way.

I didnt say you were homeless, I meant if all goes to shit there are ways to make being homeless not that bad and actually has a lot of pros for being incel while homeless

 

[VanGobbel]

Damn, why is your job so far away?

 

[Pikacel]

Pull through bro

 

[Gaelic-Truecel]

Why not try anti depressant meds like me

 

[The Wolf]

Why not try anti depressant meds like me

I'm on Zoloft and have tried other meds, they don't do shit for me

 

[The Wolf]

I didnt say you were homeless, I meant if all goes to shit there are ways to make being homeless not that bad and actually has a lot of pros for being incel while homeless

That makes sense, maybe I can work so long to afford a small and used motorhome or pickup. But I would also rather be really homeless than having to wages lave like this

 

[The Wolf]

Pull through bro

Thanks mate

 

[The Wolf]

Damn, why is your job so far away?

My dad knows the boss and the social services office helped me get it, it is a very small office, I could not be bothered to apply to anything else. My parents said I need a job because I'm 29 and cannot just NEET. I hope I can find a remote job. I will start looking in a few months. I have special arrangement of 2 remote days instead of one due to my autism and my high Sensory Processing Sensitivity.

 

[VanGobbel]

My dad knows the boss and the social services office helped me get it, it is a very small office, I could not be bothered to apply to anything else. My parents said I need a job because I'm 29 and cannot just NEET. I hope I can find a remote job. I will start looking in a few months. I have special arrangement of 2 remote days instead of one due to my autism and my high Sensory Processing Sensitivity.

Have you already met your manager and or other colleagues. Good luck man, hope people will be welcoming to you

 

[The Wolf]

Have you already met your manager and or other colleagues. Good luck man, hope people will be welcoming to you

Thank you brother, I appreciate it. I actually started work last Monday, 2nd March. I had to go there on Monday because it was my first day. Friday and Monday I can work from home due to my disabilities. So basically I stay there Tuesday-Thursday. Being in the office is more comfortable than walking outside or taking the train or bus. There are only 9 other people there. I met everyone except one person, I am already afraid of his reaction. At the first day, it was obvious they think I am weird.

If it was closer to my home, so that I maybe could take my bicycle there everyday or the bus, that would be great. Then I could be at home in my bedroom. This is a very big thing for me, as I have to do my own grocery shopping. My mom said she is proud of me as I normally cannot function alone. The problem is I have to take full trains there and back and sleep there.

 

[The Wolf]

Have you already met your manager and or other colleagues. Good luck man, hope people will be welcoming to you

*my mom drove me there on Sunday, 1st March, so this is my first time taking the train there in the morning. Last Thursday, on 5th March, I took the train home. I felt very uncomfortable in the full train and train-station.

 

[Pancakecel]

Maybe on the weekends, use some of the money you earn to buy booze, and just chill in the apartment. It will leave you with something to look forward to during the week, at least. I don't know what to recommend, other than using substances tbh.

 

[Multicell]

I didnt say you were homeless, I meant if all goes to shit there are ways to make being homeless not that bad and actually has a lot of pros for being incel while homeless

there might be pro's of literally everything, maybe even other brutal things being shot in the leg with a shotgun with pepper-sambal bb palets, extra spicy. In this case I see indeed a lot of homeless people singing happy with beers in hand having fun IN SUMMER
so on some days when it is not raining ICE you might be damn well right.

- while repecting the homless and its advantage to be one, i know there are -
i still have a different idea of advise myself for our WULF

and that is COPING

with some extra nice food after the work tonight.
take care of your self really well

and when the day is over you can really be proud that you did it
in the long run it makes it possible to get another job
with the experience you made there,
if you want to

With the money later you can buy a beer and give one to the homeless person
or an apple for some vitamins.

aaa never mind this message, it's not my best, i just came from ouside and it's fucking cold in the rain.
sitting in an office might me more dry kek.

@grimlockcel if the weather is nice in your country, I will come over there, drink beer and do nothing kek.
I know you ment well with your response. you are based.

 

[Todd Thundercock]

I'm honestly pissed at your parents forcing you to go through this. I'm sure they think they're helping making you "man up" and such boomer bollocks, but for Allah's fucking sake you twats, look at your poor son and accept a smidge of realism about the situation here.