I used to think that this was a meme, but it turns out that women only want chads or gigachads.
This roastie admits that she doesn't find any man attractive. She expects a greek-god or something more than that. The comments are brutal, tbh. All women on the comment section agreed with the OP.
"I find the vast, vast, vast majority of men unattractive. Mostly it’s that I don’t have any physical attraction to them, but once in a while (about twice a year if I’m on a lot of dating sites, or once every few years if I’m not), I’ll meet someone I actually think is good looking (a hint here is that I find most celebrities physically unattractive, apparently my sex drive is picky but I couldn’t tell you why – although I DO have a high sex drive…).
However, I’m also aware having been through a lot of therapy after numerous and significant mental health difficulties (eating disorders etc.) that I tend to date cold or unavailable men and then not ask for more and maintain that emotional distance – essentially, I seem to have been in a habit of avoiding intimacy by going out with people I don’t find attractive, or more often than I’d like to admit, men who I know are gay before I even ask them out…otherwise they’re narcissistic or give mixed messages, or aren’t close in some way etc.
Knowing that I have that pattern, I made a promise to myself to pick up on coldness whenever I find someone attractive and to walk away. And that is something I do – I look specifically for empathy. And guess what…on those very rare occasions when the idea of kissing/sleeping with someone is not downright unappealing, they’re cold and narcissistic, and so I walk away.
Now to be honest, I’m not too bothered about finding someone in the next couple of years, I’m still young at 28 and my career is my priority right now, so I’m not in too much of a hurry, but the reason why it’s been bothering me is that I’m actually starting to worry that my family messed me up so much I’ll never be able to love anyone. I’m therapied out and no longer diagnosable – I’ve made a massive recovery and feel extremely healthy – so I don’t think more therapy is going to suddenly make me find more men attractive.
I have tried being with people I don’t find attractive – and I usually remain friends with very nice men I have tried to date but didn’t find attractive, and I’m afraid they don’t start growing on me. They just become my friend.
Have you come across this and do you think the reason I find so many men physically unappealing is because of something psychological? Some of my friends think it’s do with the bar being raised…I’m quite attractive myself and I’ve had a lot of attention from the opposite of sex since I was about 13, including the “very good looking”, so perhaps it’s just knowing what I could have and that that’s influencing me?"
Some of the comments:
"Mel” is spot on. I have more horror stories than one can shake a stick at regarding good looking gay men… I’m a very attractive woman– honestly a 10 (which may sound conceited, but I was a model, am tall, blonde, thin but curvy, in my 20’s, etc). Every time I go on a dating site I literally get inundated with emails from guys. But the problem is, almost NONE of them are anything to look at! (And the few that are turn out to be gay or fake profiles!!) Yes, we are told to look at what’s on the “inside,” but the truth is, it’s these UGLY MEN who are getting the bargain here!! They get to be with women who are way, WAY better than them. It’s WOMEN who are getting the short end of the stick and I for one am sick of it!
"I can sympathize SO much with the woman who initially wrote in… In fact I’m nearly identical to her– in both having had an eating disorder AND my lack of attraction to most men"
SOURCE:https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating-tips-advice/find-men-unattractive-whats-wrong
This roastie admits that she doesn't find any man attractive. She expects a greek-god or something more than that. The comments are brutal, tbh. All women on the comment section agreed with the OP.
"I find the vast, vast, vast majority of men unattractive. Mostly it’s that I don’t have any physical attraction to them, but once in a while (about twice a year if I’m on a lot of dating sites, or once every few years if I’m not), I’ll meet someone I actually think is good looking (a hint here is that I find most celebrities physically unattractive, apparently my sex drive is picky but I couldn’t tell you why – although I DO have a high sex drive…).
However, I’m also aware having been through a lot of therapy after numerous and significant mental health difficulties (eating disorders etc.) that I tend to date cold or unavailable men and then not ask for more and maintain that emotional distance – essentially, I seem to have been in a habit of avoiding intimacy by going out with people I don’t find attractive, or more often than I’d like to admit, men who I know are gay before I even ask them out…otherwise they’re narcissistic or give mixed messages, or aren’t close in some way etc.
Knowing that I have that pattern, I made a promise to myself to pick up on coldness whenever I find someone attractive and to walk away. And that is something I do – I look specifically for empathy. And guess what…on those very rare occasions when the idea of kissing/sleeping with someone is not downright unappealing, they’re cold and narcissistic, and so I walk away.
Now to be honest, I’m not too bothered about finding someone in the next couple of years, I’m still young at 28 and my career is my priority right now, so I’m not in too much of a hurry, but the reason why it’s been bothering me is that I’m actually starting to worry that my family messed me up so much I’ll never be able to love anyone. I’m therapied out and no longer diagnosable – I’ve made a massive recovery and feel extremely healthy – so I don’t think more therapy is going to suddenly make me find more men attractive.
I have tried being with people I don’t find attractive – and I usually remain friends with very nice men I have tried to date but didn’t find attractive, and I’m afraid they don’t start growing on me. They just become my friend.
Have you come across this and do you think the reason I find so many men physically unappealing is because of something psychological? Some of my friends think it’s do with the bar being raised…I’m quite attractive myself and I’ve had a lot of attention from the opposite of sex since I was about 13, including the “very good looking”, so perhaps it’s just knowing what I could have and that that’s influencing me?"
Some of the comments:
"Mel” is spot on. I have more horror stories than one can shake a stick at regarding good looking gay men… I’m a very attractive woman– honestly a 10 (which may sound conceited, but I was a model, am tall, blonde, thin but curvy, in my 20’s, etc). Every time I go on a dating site I literally get inundated with emails from guys. But the problem is, almost NONE of them are anything to look at! (And the few that are turn out to be gay or fake profiles!!) Yes, we are told to look at what’s on the “inside,” but the truth is, it’s these UGLY MEN who are getting the bargain here!! They get to be with women who are way, WAY better than them. It’s WOMEN who are getting the short end of the stick and I for one am sick of it!
"I can sympathize SO much with the woman who initially wrote in… In fact I’m nearly identical to her– in both having had an eating disorder AND my lack of attraction to most men"
SOURCE:https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating-tips-advice/find-men-unattractive-whats-wrong
