Venting Will I ever be able to accept my fundamental undesiderability?

[tired as fuck]

Mood swinged over these past few days and I'm back to a depressive mood. Making me think hard and allat.

Will there come a day when I can look at myself and state that I am comfortable knowing I am fundamentally undesirable in the face of other people?
I don't have an answer right now, and it's kinda making me anxious.

Anyone here managed to reach that state of internal serenity? Or are you like me and still struggling with acceptance of your condition?

 

[esdeathlover]

Mood swinged over these past few days and I'm back to a depressive mood. Making me think hard and allat.

Will there come a day when I can look at myself and state that I am comfortable knowing I am fundamentally undesirable in the face of other people?
I don't have an answer right now, and it's kinda making me anxious.

Anyone here managed to reach that state of internal serenity? Or are you like me and still struggling with acceptance of your condition?

I mean realising it's over and making peace with it. And what helped me come to terms with it was that women's standards are irrational and not based on logic. like the fact women would throw away a wealth of empire for someone like Jeremy Meeks who is sub 80 (I truly believe sub 70 but its hard to prove) gangbanger instead of a well-established 4/10 with a good job helped me be content about it.its like, let's say you're not into Dungeons & Dragons, but you get banned from a Dungeons & Dragons club, you wouldnt care right? That's how I see it

 

[Soystein]

As long as I don't leave the house I am able to exist.

 

[tired as fuck]

its like, let's say you're not into Dungeons & Dragons, but you get banned from a Dungeons & Dragons club, you wouldnt care right? That's how I see it

yeah but I am into women. I got banned from enjoying their company by god/fate/luck/whatever else

 

[tired as fuck]

As long as I don't leave the house I am able to exist.

I haven't left the house in 2 months (and even then, I only left it for one day to go return a book to a library kek)

 

[UnluckyPrimate]

I'm no longer struggling with acceptance but I haven't reached any serenity, I've just lost all desire or emotional connection to this life. I'm just done with it all. This along with many other reasons is why I won't be around much longer. Maybe two and a half years at most and six months at least. I've accepted my undesirability but realized that the reason I'd care so much isn't just because of the primitive need for human connection but the cultural conditioning that also causes me to have that desire which therefore makes me impose that deprivation onto myself.

 

[esdeathlover]

aiyeah but I am into women. I got banned from enjoying their company by god/fate/luck/whatever else

my point was its irrational my example was weak, but my point is you shouldn't dwell on it too much because it's not based on something rational its not something about you; it's how they see the world. like women select not on traits which are good to offspring but traits which are good to their eyes. and look up Fisherian Runaway its common pattern in nature where female animals select traits which appease their eyes rather than survival of their group

 

[tired as fuck]

my point was its irrational my example was weak, but my point is you shouldn't dwell on it too much because it's not based on something rational its not something about you; it's how they see the world. like women select not on traits which are good to offspring but traits which are good to their eyes. and look up Fisherian Runaway its common pattern in nature where female animals select traits which appease their eyes rather than survival of their group

unfortunately humans are beings of emotions.

 

[Soystein]

I haven't left the house in 2 months (and even then, I only left it for one day to go return a book to a library kek)

Based, it's been 14 years for me.

 

[esdeathlover]

unfortunately humans are beings of emotions.

wym

 

[tired as fuck]

wym

logic cannot convince emotions.

 

[esdeathlover]

logic cannot convince emotions.

I know, but my point is you shouldn't dwell on it, and don't be harsh on yourself for being undesirable and do a cope like I gymcel not for women but to get my mind off things

 

[tired as fuck]

I know, but my point is you shouldn't dwell on it, and don't be harsh on yourself for being undesirable and do a cope

woah thank you brocel I never thought about not dwelling on it not being harsh on myself and coping in some way.

your cope is trying to convince yourself you aren't attracted to women.

 

[esdeathlover]

woah thank you brocel I never thought about not dwelling on it not being harsh on myself and coping in some way.

your cope is trying to convince yourself you aren't attracted to women.

I ment in the context of a LTR

My point was that I am repulsed by the idea of an LTR

 

[tired as fuck]

My point was that I am repulsed by the idea of an LTR

repulsed maybe is too strong a term for me, but I share the sentiment that it is extremely weird thinking about myself in a relationship.

 

[esdeathlover]

y

repulsed maybe is too strong a term for me, but I share the sentiment that it is extremely weird thinking about myself in a relationship.

yeah that was my point I am attracted to women, ofc and looking back replused was dumb phrasing its like dont see it as possible yeah weird is a better term. but my point about coping. I am not saying game for 24/7 go do something fulfilling which gets you out of the house for me gymceling maybe for you its running or something else

 

[tired as fuck]

yeah that was my point I am attracted to women, ofc and looking back replused was dumb phrasing its like dont see it as possible yeah weird is a better term. but my point about coping. I am not saying game for 24/7 go do something fulfilling which gets you out of the house for me gymceling maybe for you its running or something else

I see. I am enrolled in uni so I am studymaxxing for exams. I plan to enroll in a uni with a good master's program.

 

[esdeathlover]

I see. I am enrolled in uni so I am studymaxxing for exams. I plan to enroll in a uni with a good master's program.

nice good luck but think about what I said and take it to heart