I took the blackpill at 16, I spent everyday browsing blackpill fourms, my entire view of women is 100% changed, I've seen so many studies and learnt so many depressing blackpills about our society. My entire development has been permanently fucked, I cant believe I was suicidal at 17 instead of just being normal teenager I spent my time in extreme self hatred. I really wish when I found the blackpill, I just spent my time watching anime or something, there is no coming back from me I know that relationships will never work and that there is no such thing as love.
I wish I could play a video game or watch an anime and be happy and interested while doing it, these days I dont feel much at all, like full on negative thoughts come spiraling at me. The only times I feel happy is when Im drunk, I feel like shit all the time and I can never get drunk, my parents still expect me to become a functioning member of society, I just want to be hooked up on xanax 24/7 or something, I dont know if anyone here has self loathed so much to the point they cannot enjoy anything.
I wish I could painlessly escape the world and not enter the white light and never reincarnate again, and finannly leave the world and live somewhere else. Or if that doesnt happen just be dead forever. I just know that there is no reason to live life on earth apart from the fact that my family would be devestated, as im their only child. But I dont know whats worse becoming a guy that lives on neetbuxx and gibs from the government as a total fucking loser or being dead.
Last year was the most stressful period in my life I was enduring my suicidal thoughts while attempting to pass highschool it was extremely hard
I passed by on a whim. After the realization that all women are hypergamous, racist whores I wanted to kill myself, women are so heartless they will always cheat on you or breakup with you, my small hope for ascension was closing in, my hope was gone, there was no hope left for ugly men, actually all men will get cucked or cheated on especially zoomers.
Even after that realisation that I could never actually fuck a girl or become a normie as I became hyperblackpiled I realised how inferior ethnics are as a race, we were shit on by having the lowest IQs, brown turd coloured skin, ugly faces, etc. All those things that white normies on /pol/ talk about are true, ethnics are true subhumans, the only ethnics that can slay are 6/10 + or blacks. As an ethnic I feel like a cockaroach, the only thing I was gifted was above average inteligence, everything else about me is shit tier, ugly recessed chin, shit orbitals etc. I feel like im stuck inside a fleash prison. If it was up to me I'd like to look like a final fantasy character.
I became more and more disillusioned with the world, what are we meant to do here, the world is shit most people just live shitty lives of repetetivness, where they work until death but get to have female companionship, but as incels that isnt even afforded to us. Now with rampant female hypergamy, what is left for undesirable males? Only copes like vidya and anime, but I cant even enjoy those as much as I used to, its fucking ragefuel.
I wish I could play a video game or watch an anime and be happy and interested while doing it, these days I dont feel much at all, like full on negative thoughts come spiraling at me. The only times I feel happy is when Im drunk, I feel like shit all the time and I can never get drunk, my parents still expect me to become a functioning member of society, I just want to be hooked up on xanax 24/7 or something, I dont know if anyone here has self loathed so much to the point they cannot enjoy anything.
I wish I could painlessly escape the world and not enter the white light and never reincarnate again, and finannly leave the world and live somewhere else. Or if that doesnt happen just be dead forever. I just know that there is no reason to live life on earth apart from the fact that my family would be devestated, as im their only child. But I dont know whats worse becoming a guy that lives on neetbuxx and gibs from the government as a total fucking loser or being dead.
Last year was the most stressful period in my life I was enduring my suicidal thoughts while attempting to pass highschool it was extremely hard
I passed by on a whim. After the realization that all women are hypergamous, racist whores I wanted to kill myself, women are so heartless they will always cheat on you or breakup with you, my small hope for ascension was closing in, my hope was gone, there was no hope left for ugly men, actually all men will get cucked or cheated on especially zoomers.Even after that realisation that I could never actually fuck a girl or become a normie as I became hyperblackpiled I realised how inferior ethnics are as a race, we were shit on by having the lowest IQs, brown turd coloured skin, ugly faces, etc. All those things that white normies on /pol/ talk about are true, ethnics are true subhumans, the only ethnics that can slay are 6/10 + or blacks. As an ethnic I feel like a cockaroach, the only thing I was gifted was above average inteligence, everything else about me is shit tier, ugly recessed chin, shit orbitals etc. I feel like im stuck inside a fleash prison. If it was up to me I'd like to look like a final fantasy character.
I became more and more disillusioned with the world, what are we meant to do here, the world is shit most people just live shitty lives of repetetivness, where they work until death but get to have female companionship, but as incels that isnt even afforded to us. Now with rampant female hypergamy, what is left for undesirable males? Only copes like vidya and anime, but I cant even enjoy those as much as I used to, its fucking ragefuel.
