H
Whenever I think about reaching out to people and trying hard I simply couldn't do it.
My life has shaped me into a coward and things of bravery were already in my life involuntarily therefore I didn't really need to see those as courage because I was used to them.
However, other things of courage have been extremely difficult to me. For example I had a few text messages back and forth with my grandma: just a little chat and my parents do at times tell me to call them but I'm just not used to being that guy.
I can't be that guy no matter how much care and effort I put into it, sometimes I'll try and change who I am I'll select their good things to do such an act of courage but I've really never loved anyone, ever.
I just managed my life for all these years while having suicidal thoughts every now and then: That's basically what my life is like.
If you don't have people who get more attention: dude you have no clue how hard it is out here. Especially from your parents: my sibling gets more attention and I coped with this for a long time, my parents would gaslight me too as if I did something wrong, it's just the same old normie gaslighting and my sibling would parttake too alot og the times.
The reason I became not so loving or reachy out to other people is because I never put myself there I talked to my brother almost all my life so I didn't really need to talk to people like that, it's as if you want advice from a female but you already have your sister and you prioritize and give more value to your sister anyway even though she's a piece of shit. Sometimes my brother wouldn't approve of me having certain friends and even though we don't relate at all there's a lot of backlash when siblings aren't together: Someone needs to break these bullshit expectations of people, it's fucking ridiculous.
Just because Lena and Lina get along:
Doesn't make it fair to expect me to get along and be happy with my current situation because it's simply a horrible situation I have it worse than these morons who go famous and most siblings don't even look alike most people get mogged by their brothers or sisters:
Imagine being born to THESE GUYS AS YOUR SIBLINGS and then being expected to act all nice and expect you to be like Lena and Lina.
There is obvious females have it easier they're smoking hot blablabla but this is something that needs to change in the very near future.
Anyway, so if you can't love, it's just that you weren't ever accepted as a lover; you just were left out to not love anybody and to gymcel and get yourself tired. This is literally all I have to say about this.
My life has shaped me into a coward and things of bravery were already in my life involuntarily therefore I didn't really need to see those as courage because I was used to them.
However, other things of courage have been extremely difficult to me. For example I had a few text messages back and forth with my grandma: just a little chat and my parents do at times tell me to call them but I'm just not used to being that guy.
I can't be that guy no matter how much care and effort I put into it, sometimes I'll try and change who I am I'll select their good things to do such an act of courage but I've really never loved anyone, ever.
I just managed my life for all these years while having suicidal thoughts every now and then: That's basically what my life is like.
If you don't have people who get more attention: dude you have no clue how hard it is out here. Especially from your parents: my sibling gets more attention and I coped with this for a long time, my parents would gaslight me too as if I did something wrong, it's just the same old normie gaslighting and my sibling would parttake too alot og the times.
The reason I became not so loving or reachy out to other people is because I never put myself there I talked to my brother almost all my life so I didn't really need to talk to people like that, it's as if you want advice from a female but you already have your sister and you prioritize and give more value to your sister anyway even though she's a piece of shit. Sometimes my brother wouldn't approve of me having certain friends and even though we don't relate at all there's a lot of backlash when siblings aren't together: Someone needs to break these bullshit expectations of people, it's fucking ridiculous.
Just because Lena and Lina get along:
Doesn't make it fair to expect me to get along and be happy with my current situation because it's simply a horrible situation I have it worse than these morons who go famous and most siblings don't even look alike most people get mogged by their brothers or sisters:
Imagine being born to THESE GUYS AS YOUR SIBLINGS and then being expected to act all nice and expect you to be like Lena and Lina.
There is obvious females have it easier they're smoking hot blablabla but this is something that needs to change in the very near future.
Anyway, so if you can't love, it's just that you weren't ever accepted as a lover; you just were left out to not love anybody and to gymcel and get yourself tired. This is literally all I have to say about this.
