Ecstasy was an amazing cope. It made me euphoric and even when I wasn't high I had an extremely positive outlook on life. I burned out my serotonin receptors or else I would have kept taking it until I was dead or a crackhead burnout. The only thing that happens when I pop pills now is I feel extremely painful sensations instead of the orgasmic pleasure I used to feel. Like my skin is on fire or I'm being electrocuted. People kept telling me I just needed to take a break and let my body recuperate. Well, I waited EIGHT YEARS and tried again, same painful shit. I tried taking some mushrooms another time and I laid in bed feeling like my bones were breaking over and over again for hours. I just can't get a positive high anymore, it's physically impossible. My friends take the same shit I take and they trip their balls off. In the end, it's actually a good thing because being unable to get high has undoubtedly saved my life.
