I've accepted long ago I'm a complete loser. But now in this hour, I'm feeling even more like a loser. It's my 44th birthday in a matter of days and I realize I can't go on anymore in this state. I recently did psilocybin mushrooms, but the anti-depressive effects have worn off far sooner than I had expected. I think it's because I realize I need to quit my job. I just can't do it anymore. It brings me no joy whatsoever. It's basically over anyway, once the compute for CoT-class AI models comes down in price and management wakes up, engineers like myself are finished. Give it three years.
I need an exit plan. I've got money, but I don't know what to do with myself.
What is a complete loser supposed to do when you have no connections to the world outside of your employer? Wander the desert? Ascend a mountain? I'm too ugly to start my own business outside of power washing sewers and drainage pipes. What is a loser supposed to do to find purpose?
I need an exit plan. I've got money, but I don't know what to do with myself.
What is a complete loser supposed to do when you have no connections to the world outside of your employer? Wander the desert? Ascend a mountain? I'm too ugly to start my own business outside of power washing sewers and drainage pipes. What is a loser supposed to do to find purpose?
