Discussion when did you first think of committing suicide?

[Qrie]

for me, it was when i was 9 years old. I used to think of ways to kms when i got yelled at. The most common story id think of was:
ill somehow make a gun -> give it to my friend(later changed to someone i wasnt close with because i figured no one will do it if theyre my friends + what if my friend gets arrested lol) and tell him to shoot me while i sleep. The reason i wouldnt do it myself was to avoid making my parents sad. I kept adding to this fantasy for a few years until i was fully into making it look like an accident.
Tell me your stories brocels!

 

[TimeMachineOrLDAR]

Not sure. I think between 20-23

 

[Qrie]

Not sure. I think between 20-23

same as ER whoa

 

[Zeref]

12 prolly

 

[Itsoverm8]

Don’t remember but early

 

[Qrie]

Don’t remember but early

that sucks, i followed the same trajectory. I only remembered the exact age cuz i remember that the friends were from my 1st school and i changed my schools after 5th lol

 

[Itsoverm8]

that sucks, i followed the same trajectory. I only remembered the exact age cuz i remember that the friends were from my 1st school and i changed my schools after 5th lol

I always felt like shit

 

[Qrie]

When I was 19 I think. That was when I just couldn't cope any longer.

Now I think about it every second I'm alive.

i stopped coping at 9, now that my cousins are around the same age i wonder if they feel like that too

 

[zd60]

like 5-6 years old i knew i wanted to die and never live again and have been hoping for my death ever since then

 

[Qrie]

like 5-6 years old i knew i wanted to die and never live again and have been hoping for my death ever since then

i had this feeling at that age too. by 9 i was looking into ways to make it happen. Crazy to think bout it now

 

[zd60]

i had this feeling at that age too. by 9 i was looking into ways to make it happen. Crazy to think bout it now

i've been actively trying to ruin my health and kill myself in someway to die if all else fails i'll just take more drastic measures and pop some pills and blow my brains out or something

 

[Diddlium]

My first rejection at age 13 I think it was. Either 12 or 13

 

[RBPilled]

I can't go into too much detail but it occurred when I was relatively young when I realized right and wrong didn't matter and only looks did

 

[Qrie]

i've been actively trying to ruin my health and kill myself in someway to die if all else fails i'll just take more drastic measures and pop some pills and blow my brains out or something

i am like 100-110 pounds at 5'11(180cm), i hope that my organs fail or smth.

 

[zd60]

i am like 100-110 pounds at 5'11(180cm), i hope that my organs fail or smth.

same i'm just shorter, hoping my heart gives out or my liver something dies from all the alcohol and drugs i abuse daily

 

[Qrie]

I can't go into too much detail but it occurred when I was relatively young when I realized right and wrong didn't matter and only looks did

early blackpiller? for me it was that i just didnt want to exist. I didnt really feel that i belonged here (fun cringy fact : i used to think that ill die and respawn in ben tennyson's universe with an omnitrix)

 

[Qrie]

same i'm just shorter, hoping my heart gives out or my liver something dies from all the alcohol and drugs i abuse daily

fr, i drink alot these days. Something has to go wrong (it always does )

 

[Qrie]

My first rejection at age 13 I think it was. Either 12 or 13

before puberty? hard.

 

[zd60]

fr, i drink alot these days. Something has to go wrong (it always does )

if i can i drink and smoke weed from the time i wake up to the time i go to sleep, if money premits or my family offers i love to abuse benzos and opiates nothing better than them love psychs to and sometimes the occasianal stimulant other than nicotine

 

[RBPilled]

early blackpiller? for me it was that i just didnt want to exist.

not that early, it was after 9 I'll tell you that much, in my teens

 

[Qrie]

not that early, it was after 9 I'll tell you that much, in my teens

i see. Still sucks.

 

[RBPilled]

i see. Still sucks.

yeah

only gets worse

 

[Autist]

I thought about it once, but not very seriously. In the end, I decided to transform my self-hatred into hatred toward others.

 

[Diddlium]

before puberty? hard.

I hit puberty fairly early. I was the first in my class to have my voice drop and grow hair. So already around 5th/6th grade I was attracted to girls a lot. One girl I really liked was a tall blonde who had the most beautiful green eyes. My hormones were going like crazy and I wanted her so badly. When I asked her out, she laughed, said "ew, no!" and my classmates around me laughed. That was also the turning point when everyone began bullying me for the rest of my time at that school. Every day I wanted to kill myself and it grew to me wanting to go ER. Before ER was even a thing

 

[Qrie]

I thought about it once, but not very seriously. In the end, I decided to transform my self-hatred into hatred toward others.

ER origin fr

 

[Qrie]

I hit puberty fairly early. I was the first in my class to have my voice drop and grow hair. So already around 5th/6th grade I was attracted to girls a lot. One girl I really liked was a tall blonde who had the most beautiful green eyes. My hormones were going like crazy and I wanted her so badly. When I asked her out, she laughed, said "ew, no!" and my classmates around me laughed. That was also the turning point when everyone began bullying me for the rest of my time at that school. Every day I wanted to kill myself and it grew to me wanting to go ER. Before ER was even a thing

mine was completely the opposite, i had skipped a few grades so i was younger than my classmates (+ i was a late bloomer) everyone was like tall and shi in 7th-8th grade but i was just a little 5'2-5'3 guy. I was the shortest one, my voice wasnt deep,i had no traits of a teenager so i was picked on

 

[Qrie]

if i can i drink and smoke weed from the time i wake up to the time i go to sleep, if money premits or my family offers i love to abuse benzos and opiates nothing better than them love psychs to and sometimes the occasianal stimulant other than nicotine

i drink and smoke 1 pack every day lol

 

[lonely_slavi]

Wanted to kill myself since 13. My first suicide attempt was at 17 with a Deadly drug overdose and slicing my arm veins. Saw my life Flashing before me and right then ambulance came and in hospital I survied thanks to Jesus. Its was close. Its not worth it to kill yourself, live your life for christ and heaven awaits you.

 

[Qrie]

I always felt like shit

others made me feel like shit

 

[zd60]

i drink and smoke 1 pack every day lol

used to smoke a pack a day but switched over to 15mg nic pouches go through a can a day sometimes two, along with alcohol since its one of the best copes

 

[Qrie]

used to smoke a pack a day but switched over to 15mg nic pouches go through a can a day sometimes two, along with alcohol since its one of the best copes

im a bum and my parents pay for everything. If i ever get a job, ill try your routine out fs

 

[zd60]

im a bum and my parents pay for everything. If i ever get a job, ill try your routine out fs

my parents pay for everything i have so sometimes i end up with withdrawl from not being able to get things but they are just as bad of a addict as i am

 

[Qrie]

my parents pay for everything i have so sometimes i end up with withdrawl from not being able to get things but they are just as bad of a addict as i am

my parents are christcucks lmao, they dont do shi nor they know that i do that

 

[Diddlium]

I used to smoke until the EU banned menthols

 

[zd60]

my parents are christcucks lmao, they dont do shi nor they know that i do that

brutal

 

[sirlancelot]

Like 15

 

[LeFrenchCel]

Middle school

 

[Youthpilled]

13-14, i was scared when the thought of actually commiting suicide occured in my mind, i sort of brushed it off later, but i tried to write my first suicide note at 16 or 17 iirc and even constructed a plan to painlessly exit this world in the spring of 2025, but pussied out. I'm still quite suicidal, but atleast self-aware enough to realize that it's much easier said than done unfortunatly. However, rationally speaking, there's no hope for me, i'm ugly as fuck, talentless and autistic. I know it may sound cliche, but the world would unironically be better off without my subhuman presence. My mother would probably grieve for couple days, but in the long term my death would be beneficial, since i'm nothing more than a dead weight for my family and for myself too.

 

[Qrie]

13-14, i was scared when the thought of actually commiting suicide occured in my mind, i sort of brushed it off later, but i tried to write my first suicide note at 16 or 17 iirc and even constructed a plan to painlessly exit this world in the spring of 2025, but pussied out. I'm still quite suicidal, but atleast self-aware enough to realize that it's much easier said than done unfortunatly. However, rationally speaking, there's no hope for me, i'm ugly as fuck, talentless and autistic. I know it may sound cliche, but the world would unironically be better off without my subhuman presence. My mother would probably grieve for couple days, but in the long term my death would be beneficial, since i'm nothing more than a dead weight for my family and for myself too.

I think the same for myself. It's alright bruv

 

[Zionist]

I just wish I could go back and shoot up my school

 

[Qrie]

I just wish I could go back and shoot up my school

Id rather shoot random happy people by the park or smth

 

[troon]

4 years ago maybe

 

[Zionist]

Id rather shoot random happy people by the park or smth

Nah I just want revenge against people who did me wrong, I don't get why people who shoot up schools never kill their bullies, it's retarded

 

[Skoga]

Never, I enjoy my copes

 

[Qrie]

Never, I enjoy my copes

I wish I were like you

 

[Qrie]

4 years ago maybe

Just after COVID is crazy

 

[troon]

I wish I were like you

 

[Qrie]

Nah I just want revenge against people who did me wrong, I don't get why people who shoot up schools never kill their bullies, it's retarded

It's tough to actually look for your bullies before the police catches you lol

 

[troon]

Just after COVID is crazy

covid was a nice break from life

 

[Qrie]

covid was a nice break from life

Can relate tbh.