Haha nice brocel. I am torn between either living like a glutton and embracing the sort of epicureanism that you suggest whereby I would spend as much money as possible enjoying fine dining and high quality alcoholic beverages and resisting that temptation and instead sacrificing whatever is left of my life for a noble cause such as inceldom or Jihad and thereby achieving some sense of satisfaction and intrinsic gratification.
good luck brocel I am glad that you believe in something unlike me. I cannot convince myself that God exists even if I tried.
I too had a difficult time accepting the premise of a supernatural divine creator and even though I have embraced Salafi Islam, I still find it impossible to reconcile the claims of my religion with a rationalistic and empirical conception of reality. I suppose that is why they call it faith, because you have to accept its claims even though they lack sufficient evidentiary basis. Also, as a long time atheist, I finally concluded that since the existence of God can't be either proven or disproven, then it is better to act as though He exists then to suffer the consequences of disbelief if you end up concluding that he does not. This is a reformulation of a philosophical argument known as Pascal's Wager. But I completely understand you unwillingness to accept religious assertions as I was similarly situated for most of my adult life.
