Deep.Nest
El Violador
★
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2021
- Posts
- 4,582
When I was a kid, I thought I was gonna be really cool and successful when I became an adult, but turns out I just got extremely pathetic and miserable. There's little to no hope that my life will ever turn out to be something great.
I've always wanted to be a scientist, either chemistry or computer science. I wanted to become an expert in certain studies and I wanted the knowledge of how our universe works and an understanding of everything that could potentially be conceived on this planet. Not a boring scientist though. I wanted to be a innovative scientist who creates gadgets and machines for fun to show off to my friends, after me and my hypothetical buddies would spend a day having a blast in the lab, we'd go out and get drunk cause we would still be cool. I never deluded myself into thinking I could radically advance the planet, but I didn't care. I just wanted to have fun and create shit.
I still have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that this will never happen. My social and mental health has been on a steady decline ever since I became a teenager. My motivation was killed and it was hard to care about my education or future. My grades never became atrocious, but they didn't suffice. I used to be a straight A student even taking honors and AP level classes but that evolved into getting mostly Bs and even a few Cs. I went to an ok college for a bit but dropped out and now I'm in community college which I'm honestly ashamed to admit. It really feels too late to start living a life I can be proud of. I know my life will never be what I'd hoped for and it's too late to change this. If I don't rope, I'll live on to work some boring dead end job with no family or friends.
I bet many of you can relate and I'd be interested in hearing about your stories.
I've always wanted to be a scientist, either chemistry or computer science. I wanted to become an expert in certain studies and I wanted the knowledge of how our universe works and an understanding of everything that could potentially be conceived on this planet. Not a boring scientist though. I wanted to be a innovative scientist who creates gadgets and machines for fun to show off to my friends, after me and my hypothetical buddies would spend a day having a blast in the lab, we'd go out and get drunk cause we would still be cool. I never deluded myself into thinking I could radically advance the planet, but I didn't care. I just wanted to have fun and create shit.
I still have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that this will never happen. My social and mental health has been on a steady decline ever since I became a teenager. My motivation was killed and it was hard to care about my education or future. My grades never became atrocious, but they didn't suffice. I used to be a straight A student even taking honors and AP level classes but that evolved into getting mostly Bs and even a few Cs. I went to an ok college for a bit but dropped out and now I'm in community college which I'm honestly ashamed to admit. It really feels too late to start living a life I can be proud of. I know my life will never be what I'd hoped for and it's too late to change this. If I don't rope, I'll live on to work some boring dead end job with no family or friends.
I bet many of you can relate and I'd be interested in hearing about your stories.
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