Everyday is torture but the weekends the FOMO effect is in full force. Everyone is out partying, living life with their friends, meanwhile we rot in our cave as always with only our laptop and playstation for comfort. Music itself is a trigger as it gives us hope for a better tomorrow, it fucks with our emotions.
My anxiety and depression escalates over the weekends, the loneliness is insufferable. In the same breath, I guess it beats sitting in a nightclub drowning our sorrows.
Weekends have often pushed me to breaking point with my fucked up mental health. As much as I hate my job, at least it gives me routine and some purpose, however insignificant. That comes with its own hell as I work in a school, but at the very least I feel like I'm contributing to society despite the ignorance and contempt shown towards me from staff.
When I'm off work I sink even further to the depths of despair as my mind isn't preoccupied, idle mind is the devils workshop as they say. Purpose and mental health go hand in hand, a lack there of is detrimental to our wellbeing. I love videogames and crime documentaries but they only offer so much cope, before the stark reality of loneliness sets in

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