i think i have the ultimate form of social anxiety where even in death it haunts me. I don’t want people to see me lifeless. I’m going to be even uglier than when i’m living. I won’t be able to mew while dead so my submental area will be subhuman. I can’t squint either and lifeless eyes are just creepy and dishusting. And my methods for suicide would multilate my body and make me even yglier and more disgusting. I’m too high inhibition to use drugs. I would do a gun to the brain or get my head run over by a train. I can’t even imagine how ugly that will make my face. No one will sympathize my death because when they see my body it’ll be so ugly. These are my biggest concerns with suicide. My brain chemistry is so fucking subhuman.
