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Story Vote on how this incel Thanksgiving story should continue: Part 1

  • Thread starter FrothySolutions
  • Start date

What should happen to Mattison the day after Thanksgiving?


  • Total voters
    3
  • Poll closed .
FrothySolutions

FrothySolutions

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Some backstory...


I can't leave his story hanging like that. I care for Mattison about as much as I care for living incels. I have to know what happens next. So I follow this story up by prompting Bard "Now write for the next day." Here are the 3 drafts it produced. Whichever one you pick, I will ask Bard to follow up on again. But we have to pick one of these drafts first.

Voting lasts 24 hours.

Draft 1

INT. BIG BOX STORE - DAY

MATTISON (30s) walks through the crowded aisles of a big box store, pushing a shopping cart. He looks exhausted and disheveled.

The camera pans over the other shoppers, who are all rushing around, grabbing everything they can get their hands on. The store is filled with noise and chaos.

Mattison stops in front of a display of TVs. He looks at the prices and sighs.

MATTISON
(to himself)
I can't afford any of this.

Mattison starts to walk away, but then he sees a TV that's on sale. It's not the biggest or the best, but it's still a good TV.

Mattison reaches for the TV, but another shopper snatches it out of his hands.

SHOPPER
Sorry, dude. It's mine now.

Mattison watches as the shopper walks away with the TV. He shakes his head and sighs.

MATTISON
(to himself)
What's the point?

Mattison continues walking through the store. He sees people fighting over clothes, toys, and electronics. He sees people stealing things. He sees people getting hurt.

Mattison starts to feel overwhelmed. He turns and walks back the way he came.

As he walks, he sees a group of people gathered around a display of laptops. One of the shoppers is holding a laptop and shouting.

SHOPPER
This is the last one! Get it while you can!

The shoppers start pushing and shoving each other, trying to get to the laptop.

Mattison watches in horror as one of the shoppers is knocked to the ground. The other shoppers trample over him, their eyes focused on the laptop.

Mattison screams and runs out of the store.

EXT. BIG BOX STORE - DAY

Mattison stands in the parking lot, catching his breath. He looks back at the store and shakes his head.

MATTISON
(to himself)
What is wrong with people?

Mattison sits down on the ground and puts his head in his hands. He feels like he's about to cry.

After a few minutes, Mattison stands up and picks up his camera. He turns it on and starts filming.

MATTISON (CONT'D)
(to the camera)
I don't know what else to say. I just... I'm so disappointed in humanity.

Mattison takes a deep breath.

MATTISON (CONT'D)
I guess I'm just going to go home now. And try to forget about all of this.

Mattison turns off the camera and walks to his car. He drives away, leaving the big box store behind him.

[SCENE END]


Draft 2


INT. ELECTRONICS STORE - MORNING


MATTISON (30s) walks into a crowded electronics store. He's wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses to disguise himself. He carries a camera in his hand.

Mattison walks through the store, filming the chaos around him. People are pushing and shoving, trying to get the best deals.

MATTISON
(to himself)
Black Friday. The biggest shopping day of the year. And the most pathetic.

Mattison stops in front of a display of TVs. He picks up a remote and turns on one of the TVs. It's showing a commercial for a new video game console.

MATTISON (CONT'D)
Look at them. All they care about is buying stuff. They don't even care what they're buying. They just want to buy something. Anything.

Mattison puts down the remote and walks away. He continues filming the shoppers, but he's starting to get more and more agitated.

MATTISON (CONT'D)
This is madness. Pure madness.

Mattison stops in front of a group of people who are fighting over a discounted laptop. He starts filming them.

MATTISON (CONT'D)
Look at them! They're like animals!

One of the shoppers notices Mattison filming and turns to him.

SHOPPER
Hey! What are you doing?

MATTISON
I'm just filming this madness.

SHOPPER
Put that camera down!

The shopper tries to grab the camera from Mattison. Mattison dodges him and starts running.

SHOPPER
(chasing after him)
Get back here!

Mattison runs through the store, filming the shoppers as he goes. He's laughing now, but it's a manic laugh.

MATTISON (laughing)
This is amazing! This is the best show ever!

Mattison runs out of the store and into the street. He's still laughing.

MATTISON (CONT'D)
Happy Black Friday, everyone!

Mattison raises his middle finger and walks away.

[SCENE END]

Optional Ending:

Mattison walks down the street, still filming. He passes by groups of shoppers who are carrying bags of new purchases.

MATTISON (to himself)
They're all so happy. They think they've gotten such great deals. But they don't realize that they've just been manipulated.

Mattison stops in front of a window and looks at his reflection. He's still wearing his baseball cap and sunglasses.

MATTISON (CONT'D)
I'm no better than them, though. I'm just as pathetic. I'm just trying to find something to fill the void in my life.

Mattison turns away from the window and walks away. He's still filming, but he's not laughing anymore.

[SCENE END]

Draft 3

INT. MALL - DAY

MATTISON (V.O.)
The day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday.

Mattison is standing in the middle of a crowded mall. People are pushing and shoving each other, trying to get the best deals. Mattison looks around, disgusted.

MATTISON (V.O.)
The worst day of the year.

Mattison starts to walk through the crowd. He's not really sure where he's going, but he doesn't want to stay in one place for too long. He's afraid he'll start to suffocate.

Mattison comes to a stop in front of a store selling electronics. He sees a TV that he's been wanting for a while, and it's on sale. He takes a deep breath and joins the line of people waiting to get into the store.

Mattison waits in line for what feels like hours. Finally, he makes it to the door. He pushes his way inside and heads straight for the TV. He grabs it off the shelf and holds it close to his chest.

MATTISON
(to himself)
I've got it.

Mattison looks around the store. It's even more chaotic than the mall outside. People are fighting over merchandise, screaming and cursing. Mattison starts to panic. He feels like he's going to be sick.

Mattison tries to make his way to the checkout counter, but he's constantly being bumped and jostled. He drops the TV. It crashes to the floor and shatters.

Mattison looks down at the broken TV. He feels tears welling up in his eyes.

MATTISON
(to himself)
It's all gone.

Mattison turns and runs out of the store. He pushes through the crowd and out of the mall. He doesn't stop running until he reaches his car.

Mattison gets into his car and locks the doors. He sits there for a moment, catching his breath. Then he starts to cry.

MATTISON
(to himself)
I'm so alone.

Mattison cries for a long time. When he's finally stopped, he looks out the window. He sees a group of people walking towards his car. They're all wearing masks and carrying baseball bats.

Mattison locks the doors even tighter. He doesn't know what to do.

The people reach Mattison's car and start to bang on the windows. Mattison screams.

[SCENE END]

Optional Ending:

The people break the windows of Mattison's car and pull him out. They beat him with their baseball bats. Mattison screams and begs for mercy, but they don't stop.

Finally, the people stop beating Mattison. They leave him lying on the ground, bleeding and unconscious.

A few minutes later, a security guard comes running up. He sees Mattison and calls for help.

Mattison is taken to the hospital, but it's too late. He dies from his injuries.

[SCENE END]
 
Remember, the way Bard works is that only one draft can win. Only one draft can be chosen.
 
16 more hours to go...
 
8 more hours to go, we are tied three ways.
 

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