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I can't even remember what triggered me to do this tonight, and i sort of stopped to make this thread, because i realised it was just haunting me more and would rather try and vent about it.
i think it usually happens when autumn/winter hits and i get all cold, unwell, depressed and my sleep schedule is all fucked up. It's always the same old friends, random girls i had a crush on, distant relatives and shit. It probably didn't help that i had a dream involving school and my home town literally a day ago. The kind of vivid dream space that is reoccuring, and i hadn't had in about a year maybe.
I suppose i also find it as a good opportunity to 'reconnect' with normie social media... see what they are all up to, how many russian whores my distant grandfather is following on Facebook, how many cats/dogs the average foid requires in order to develop genuine mental illness. Also most of the time i end up just looking at 90% random people's profiles with similar names who are much more interesting than their counterparts in the UK.
Now you may think it's a pretty normal thing these days, and that's probably true, but in the context of a khhv trucel neetrotter, it's gonna hit you harder than the model NPCitizen who will not have the same feelings you get, even if they are a loser, they just won't be carrying that sort of lingering feeling for the same amount of time. And yet at the same time i am pretty numb to it, it's just something the mind craves, falls back to, obsesses and lingers over under the right conditions. It's not even anything in particular, it could really be about anything but your mind is going to come back to it eventually once you are all cold, ill, alone and lost in the dark, yet again... you may be able to fool others but you can never fool your brain.
Nothing else too crazy to say about this, it's just a very occasional (a couple times every 1-2 years) kind of habit. Definitely an insomnia thing.
i think it usually happens when autumn/winter hits and i get all cold, unwell, depressed and my sleep schedule is all fucked up. It's always the same old friends, random girls i had a crush on, distant relatives and shit. It probably didn't help that i had a dream involving school and my home town literally a day ago. The kind of vivid dream space that is reoccuring, and i hadn't had in about a year maybe.
I suppose i also find it as a good opportunity to 'reconnect' with normie social media... see what they are all up to, how many russian whores my distant grandfather is following on Facebook, how many cats/dogs the average foid requires in order to develop genuine mental illness. Also most of the time i end up just looking at 90% random people's profiles with similar names who are much more interesting than their counterparts in the UK.
Now you may think it's a pretty normal thing these days, and that's probably true, but in the context of a khhv trucel neetrotter, it's gonna hit you harder than the model NPCitizen who will not have the same feelings you get, even if they are a loser, they just won't be carrying that sort of lingering feeling for the same amount of time. And yet at the same time i am pretty numb to it, it's just something the mind craves, falls back to, obsesses and lingers over under the right conditions. It's not even anything in particular, it could really be about anything but your mind is going to come back to it eventually once you are all cold, ill, alone and lost in the dark, yet again... you may be able to fool others but you can never fool your brain.
Nothing else too crazy to say about this, it's just a very occasional (a couple times every 1-2 years) kind of habit. Definitely an insomnia thing.
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