Victims of rape, genocide, concentration camps, torture whatever the fuck. Live better lives than I do. They have goals, they have meaningful suffering. Their lives have meaning.
People who are born into a persecuted minority and then see their relatives killed. They suffer and suffer again emotionally. And there is Satisfaction and pain that comes with that. Unlike me who is more or less a doll. I don't have pleasure nor suffering in my life, just purely a doll . I am an emotional corpse.
Rape victims have goals to overcome their traumas. I don't have that.
People who have their kids killed/murdered have motivation to keep living for their child's sake. I will never have that. My life has, is and will always be a boring monotonous mundane piece of shit wagie code monkey life.
If I was a victim of a tragedy such as a Holocaust/Crusades/Civil war whatever you name it. At least I would have more reasons to live and I would also suffer greatly emotionally instead of being emotionally dead like I am now
I seriously envy victims of tragedies.
People who are born into a persecuted minority and then see their relatives killed. They suffer and suffer again emotionally. And there is Satisfaction and pain that comes with that. Unlike me who is more or less a doll. I don't have pleasure nor suffering in my life, just purely a doll . I am an emotional corpse.
Rape victims have goals to overcome their traumas. I don't have that.
People who have their kids killed/murdered have motivation to keep living for their child's sake. I will never have that. My life has, is and will always be a boring monotonous mundane piece of shit wagie code monkey life.
If I was a victim of a tragedy such as a Holocaust/Crusades/Civil war whatever you name it. At least I would have more reasons to live and I would also suffer greatly emotionally instead of being emotionally dead like I am now
I seriously envy victims of tragedies.
