It is now three years to the day since one of the most significant events in my life. It disturbs me that it has been this long without really any concrete change. I am near-certain that it was on this day—January 4, 2021—that I first accessed My Twisted World by Elliot Rodger. At any rate, this is the earliest date that I can find records of searches about ER in my online activity.
Now to be clear, I don't think his "solution" was right—neither in a moral or pragmatic sense. He probably could have become a decent author based on the quality of his work, maybe even done a screenplay that his film-maker dad could have adapted into a movie.
Anyway, I remember the early days of reading MTW—something just clicked, and certain ideas he presented were things I had even thought of before. The concept of an experience being wasted because he didn't have a girl to enjoy it with hit very close to home. Likewise the idea of a beautiful environment being darkest hell when you're alone is something that made so much sense to me, even now. In fact, the writing had such an impact on me that I got the idea of writing my own autobiography of sorts. That never really succeeded though, due to mental issues/lack of focus and what-not. I think if I tried again now, a disproportionate amount of it would probably just be about the last three years…
Now to be clear, I don't think his "solution" was right—neither in a moral or pragmatic sense. He probably could have become a decent author based on the quality of his work, maybe even done a screenplay that his film-maker dad could have adapted into a movie.
Anyway, I remember the early days of reading MTW—something just clicked, and certain ideas he presented were things I had even thought of before. The concept of an experience being wasted because he didn't have a girl to enjoy it with hit very close to home. Likewise the idea of a beautiful environment being darkest hell when you're alone is something that made so much sense to me, even now. In fact, the writing had such an impact on me that I got the idea of writing my own autobiography of sorts. That never really succeeded though, due to mental issues/lack of focus and what-not. I think if I tried again now, a disproportionate amount of it would probably just be about the last three years…
