Venting To think how delusional I was a kid

[Fullofhate]

I spent years as a kid snuggling up to my pillow, thinking to myself "one day you'll get that hot emo girlfriend who cares about only you".

Years and years have gone by and I'm still here and instead of innocent wishful thinking it's turned into brooding hate. Now when I go to sleep at night all I can think about is getting revenge against the society that's fucked me over time and time again.

I've spoken to psychiatrists who think they know what's wrong with me but they haven't even scratched the surface. Why should I tell them what I really think or feel? Fuck them. They just want to ruin my life even more.

Sometimes I feel OK. Other times I feel so fucking angry it's hard to believe. But I smile. I enjoy the anger. I don't know why, but it's pleasing to me.

I know the only thing that could possibly change me is if I get to experience real love or affection. But alas, it isn't for me. So here I am still pissed and furious at the world and every motherfucker who crossed my path.

I would love to hunt down and hurt every single fucker who pissed me off or wronged me years ago and I'd enjoy every second of it. It'd be pleasure for me.

 

[Deleted member 818]

I would love to hunt down and hurt every single fucker who pissed me off or wronged me years ago and I'd enjoy every second of it. It'd be pleasure for me.

Same.

 

[blackcel]

Why should I tell them what I really think or feel? Fuck them.

Kinda defeating the entire point of therapy right there.

 

[Fullofhate]

Kinda defeating the entire point of therapy right there.

If it was up to me I wouldn't be speaking to them.

 

[Permafrost]

I spent years as a kid snuggling up to my pillow, thinking to myself "one day you'll get that hot emo girlfriend who cares about only you".

Years and years have gone by and I'm still here and instead of innocent wishful thinking it's turned into brooding hate. Now when I go to sleep at night all I can think about is getting revenge against the society that's fucked me over time and time again.

I've spoken to psychiatrists who think they know what's wrong with me but they haven't even scratched the surface. Why should I tell them what I really think or feel? Fuck them. They just want to ruin my life even more.

Sometimes I feel OK. Other times I feel so fucking angry it's hard to believe. But I smile. I enjoy the anger. I don't know why, but it's pleasing to me.

I know the only thing that could possibly change me is if I get to experience real love or affection. But alas, it isn't for me. So here I am still pissed and furious at the world and every motherfucker who crossed my path.

I would love to hunt down and hurt every single fucker who pissed me off or wronged me years ago and I'd enjoy every second of it. It'd be pleasure for me.

I feel you bro.

 

[TrueAlphaMale]

there is no hope for us unless rape is leglized

 

[Deleted member 8499]

If I ever go er I will find the roasties that bullied me throughout my pre-adult years and acidface them

 

[LebaneseCel]

I always thought I would settle for nothing less than a hot blonde chick as a kid. Parents falsely said that I would grow up to be a handsome man.

 

[mutant]

never in your life should you speak to a doctor type

they are your class enemies

 

[Deleted member 9192]

I would recommend you do some trauma work on your own, you are the fight type on the trauma scale (Fight freeze fawn flight) and they usually are best when working through it alone. Youre not wrong anyways, trauma healing is a lonely journey. It wont cure inceldom either, but do it for your sake, it ups average mood. Go search for shadow work its a good start

 

[JackBurton]

never in your life should you speak to a doctor type

they are your class enemies

You should only talk to doctors to get plastic surgeries, and you need to be careful, because most will try to sell us shit surgeries.

 

[Fullofhate]

I would recommend you do some trauma work on your own, you are the fight type on the trauma scale (Fight freeze fawn flight) and they usually are best when working through it alone. Youre not wrong anyways, trauma healing is a lonely journey. It wont cure inceldom either, but do it for your sake, it ups average mood. Go search for shadow work its a good start

Wow. Thanks for this dude. I'm checking it out now.

 

[GeneticDysfunction]

I spent years as a kid snuggling up to my pillow, thinking to myself "one day you'll get that hot emo girlfriend who cares about only you".

Years and years have gone by and I'm still here and instead of innocent wishful thinking it's turned into brooding hate. Now when I go to sleep at night all I can think about is getting revenge against the society that's fucked me over time and time again.

I've spoken to psychiatrists who think they know what's wrong with me but they haven't even scratched the surface. Why should I tell them what I really think or feel? Fuck them. They just want to ruin my life even more.

Sometimes I feel OK. Other times I feel so fucking angry it's hard to believe. But I smile. I enjoy the anger. I don't know why, but it's pleasing to me.

I know the only thing that could possibly change me is if I get to experience real love or affection. But alas, it isn't for me. So here I am still pissed and furious at the world and every motherfucker who crossed my path.

I would love to hunt down and hurt every single fucker who pissed me off or wronged me years ago and I'd enjoy every second of it. It'd be pleasure for me.

Let the rage fuel you brothER.

 

[Deleted member 9192]

Wow. Thanks for this dude. I'm checking it out now.

If it helped you, I can also recommend you Pete Walkers website, he talks about the 4 Fs of trauma response in detail. Also Bessel Van Der Kolk. Your anger is basically an emotional flashback, and it IS possible to get rid of them. I wish you the best of luck, I know how you feel and youre not alone trust me
EDIT: also if you have questions sometimes later about trauma you can PM me

 

[Evildoer]

I spent years as a kid snuggling up to my pillow, thinking to myself "one day you'll get that hot emo girlfriend who cares about only you".

Everyone went throught this. Very delusional and disappointing once it crushes worldview.

 

[EARTH]

Who wronged you and how did they wrong you?

 

[Pewaraw]

If it was up to me I wouldn't be speaking to them.

If you're already forced to go just take advantage of it.
The worst that could happen is that he actually helps you or just nothing happens.
The guy isn't allowed to talk about you and if he does you can sue the shit out of him so it's win-win.

 

[averageblokecel]

I loved a girl, but then I got blackpilled and everyhting went down the drain when I realized it was over

 

[Evildoer]

I loved a girl, but then I got blackpilled and everyhting went down the drain when I realized it was over

You could at least try with her, before giving up, tbh tbh. I've never felt love, though.

 

[averageblokecel]

You could at least try with her, before giving up, tbh tbh. I've never felt love, though.

I tried but failed, but at least now I know why I did really fail