Disclaimer: this is a somewhat embarrassing/retarded topic, but it's something that's been on my mind for a while, and I wanted to write briefly on it… I have actually done some writing already related to it (off the forums).
Basically the central idea is that I am watching/seeing some kind of content, whether explicitly pornographic or just erotic in some way, and often there is a certain suspension of disbelief that cannot be achieved. I am just too self-aware of what is going on; it's not the so-called "post-nut clarity" but rather these sorts of realizations that occur within the time. (I would say this happens to a lesser extent if I was just masturbating to nothing else than organic thought, but even then it can still occur.)
You get pulled out of it, feeling pathetic—is it an acceptance of being cucked if you truly allow yourself to enjoy it? Because sexhavers are doing things simultaneously as you do this alone? For me, there might also be an admixture of residual religious guilt from a very anti-sexual upbringing, but that's certainly not all.
I don't believe in Freudian psychology, but I found his tripartite construct somewhat instructive in this context. The id (animalistic / pleasure-seeking) has no trouble enjoying the experience wholeheartedly, while the superego maintains a lofty disbelief; it is dishonorable to enjoy this. This puts the ego in a state of conflict between them, hence getting taken out. One might even try to create a "simulated" ego to temporarily swing the balance towards enjoyment, as I have tried, but this ultimately goes too far and becomes weird. (This is kind of a vague concept, but I wanted to include it anyway.)
Recently I found some "media" that I did kind of get immersed in for the moment
…maybe because it had a sort of plot, but I have still been considering these things. Anyway, the very fact I have to overanalyze something as banal as gooning shows that I was mentally far-gone from a young age. These are not sexhaver considerations. I would not be considering any of this under ideal conditions.
Basically the central idea is that I am watching/seeing some kind of content, whether explicitly pornographic or just erotic in some way, and often there is a certain suspension of disbelief that cannot be achieved. I am just too self-aware of what is going on; it's not the so-called "post-nut clarity" but rather these sorts of realizations that occur within the time. (I would say this happens to a lesser extent if I was just masturbating to nothing else than organic thought, but even then it can still occur.)
You get pulled out of it, feeling pathetic—is it an acceptance of being cucked if you truly allow yourself to enjoy it? Because sexhavers are doing things simultaneously as you do this alone? For me, there might also be an admixture of residual religious guilt from a very anti-sexual upbringing, but that's certainly not all.
I don't believe in Freudian psychology, but I found his tripartite construct somewhat instructive in this context. The id (animalistic / pleasure-seeking) has no trouble enjoying the experience wholeheartedly, while the superego maintains a lofty disbelief; it is dishonorable to enjoy this. This puts the ego in a state of conflict between them, hence getting taken out. One might even try to create a "simulated" ego to temporarily swing the balance towards enjoyment, as I have tried, but this ultimately goes too far and becomes weird. (This is kind of a vague concept, but I wanted to include it anyway.)
Recently I found some "media" that I did kind of get immersed in for the moment
(it was a really cute short hentai story)
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