in my early 20s, still a KHHV, im trying to be a normie, surrounded by normies. They are in relationships and have 10 times the friendships that I do, but all of them self diagnose and proclaim depression like a fucking badge of quirkiness while I actually have it.
Get invited to a party out of pity? Guess ill go. I arrive. FIrst thing that happens I get publicly humiliated by the foid who obnoxiously loudly made statements about somebody inviting random hobos.
Try to talk to girls from my friends social circles? even the single ones are suddenly taken or not looking.
Had a few drinks with "friends" and dare to open up? They try to one-up you with bullshit that isnt even worse than your story, and is probably made up, but the condescending tone makes me not wanna pry or elaborate.
Friends inviting over their femoid friend in bluepilled cope that since we are both single we will find interest in eachother? Bitch tells me shes gay. Which i know isnt the case.
So I bottle it up. Repeat for 3 years.
I become 26. Wake up 2 hours deep into my sleep from agonizing sharp chest pains. Feels like a knife has been put straight in my heart and its beating out my chest. Go to the hospital scared shitless. Thought im having a heart attack but not really. Get diagnosed with arrhythmia and told to go see a psychiatrist. Get told if I dont improve i will get heart attacks when im 30.
Psychiatrist reaffirms my previous diagnoses, but also concludes I have vegetative dystonia. Which is just fucking dandy because as it stands, its still a medical mystery with unclear solutions!!!!
Soon turning 28. The symptoms are still there despite the fact I started exercising frequently. So now I have a failing heart that I cant fix, and that I cant really treat bc its a mystery. But its not really a mystery for us is it. We all know why. We are just unloved, defeated, dead inside, like Padme in star wars who died despite being healthy due to sheerly being out of will to live. Congratulations foids. You managed it. I am not suicidal but you will have driven me to a very early death regardless. Any year now.
Get invited to a party out of pity? Guess ill go. I arrive. FIrst thing that happens I get publicly humiliated by the foid who obnoxiously loudly made statements about somebody inviting random hobos.
Try to talk to girls from my friends social circles? even the single ones are suddenly taken or not looking.
Had a few drinks with "friends" and dare to open up? They try to one-up you with bullshit that isnt even worse than your story, and is probably made up, but the condescending tone makes me not wanna pry or elaborate.
Friends inviting over their femoid friend in bluepilled cope that since we are both single we will find interest in eachother? Bitch tells me shes gay. Which i know isnt the case.
So I bottle it up. Repeat for 3 years.
I become 26. Wake up 2 hours deep into my sleep from agonizing sharp chest pains. Feels like a knife has been put straight in my heart and its beating out my chest. Go to the hospital scared shitless. Thought im having a heart attack but not really. Get diagnosed with arrhythmia and told to go see a psychiatrist. Get told if I dont improve i will get heart attacks when im 30.
Psychiatrist reaffirms my previous diagnoses, but also concludes I have vegetative dystonia. Which is just fucking dandy because as it stands, its still a medical mystery with unclear solutions!!!!
Soon turning 28. The symptoms are still there despite the fact I started exercising frequently. So now I have a failing heart that I cant fix, and that I cant really treat bc its a mystery. But its not really a mystery for us is it. We all know why. We are just unloved, defeated, dead inside, like Padme in star wars who died despite being healthy due to sheerly being out of will to live. Congratulations foids. You managed it. I am not suicidal but you will have driven me to a very early death regardless. Any year now.
