The Shay Files: "Mental Illness"

[Intellau_Celistic]

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Understood. I'll proceed:

Several years ago, I entered my second mental breakdown after months of torment from youth living in a youth commune. I was paranoid, afraid of sleeping, and kept hearing voices of those youth in my mind for months afterward. I'd sleep in the basement of a relative and cringe whenever I'd hear laughter.


I coped with this by recounting all my negative experiences daily. I recalled how I was criticized by relatives for ASD, bullied in group therapy for ASD, ostracized in the commune for ASD, and I started analyzing all aspects of my suffering and realized that I was non-NT and incapable of truly bonding with Normies in a meaningful way. Then, I researched my conditions and spent hours seeking out techniques and therapies for myself, since my relatives did little to help me with them.

Yes. In the basement, I fantasized about Shannon making certain remarks to me in group therapy:

"You're a loser"

"You can't do anything to me. I'm a White goddess"

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We were then playing "Magical Chairs".

"Umm-umm-You loser-I just said you cant-"

Minutes later...

"I'm so sorry!"

Strange. I recall sitting in the basement for hours fantasizing about intelligent discussions with a Black boy named "Jacquis". It's as though I was never approached and asked about my knowledge or intelligence when it mattered.

There's a reason why only ultra-conservatives and WNs respected my intellect.

Yes. In the basement, I tried to fantasize about this and kept experiencing extreme mental blocks. The only scenario I could envision was the foid being intellectually-disabled.

A Stacey triggered my first mental breakdown. I was rotting for months in the basement, paranoid and fearful of noises during the day.

She was...quite tearful over a tall Chad, wasn't she?

I've got the photos right here, dear fellowcels:

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[Intellau_Celistic]

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Revived

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Photos(Who?):

This is a final mention outside of quotes. I have no interest in that one any further. All holes are worthless.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

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My Therapy Pinwheel

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

"there has to be a reason, unrelated to my looks"

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Moronism Join Date: 2010-02-08 Post Count: 451 #45789623Monday, April 18, 2011 11:22 PM CDT THIS IS ENGLISH

xabi Join Date: 2008-08-31 Post Count: 6836 #45796424Tuesday, April 19, 2011 7:37 AM CDT @Fofie Правильно, это как, когда жизнь дает тебе лимон, вы сделать лимонад.

EvilArbiter Join Date: 2009-07-05 Post Count: 2118 #45815462Tuesday, April 19, 2011 4:39 PM CDT then he said Correctly, it's like when life gives you lemons you make lemonade.

Re: i can speak swedish

AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332

#144964057Sunday, August 31, 2014 3:21 AM CDT Ah, Swedish is a very nice language to learn, very interesting.

Re: any bilingual oters

AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332

#150700672Saturday, November 29, 2014 11:45 AM CST "Lua" is an excellent language to learn, as well as "Turkish".

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Yes...I spent some time cycling when I was nineteen.

This is why I stopped cycling years ago - I couldn't leave without NTs denigrating me.

I've been denigrated at bus stops, crosswalks, in stores, sidewalks, et cetera...

Use a bicycle for transport. I owned a cheap toy-store cycle years ago.

I sometimes measure as 5'2. I also fantasized about cycling and attending MATC.

Cycling. I bought a cheap toy store bicycle($150) and spent some time on a local bicycle trail.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

I haven't cycled in years.

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I taught myself when I was nineteen.

It is safer to ride at night, with less traffic. I've successfully driven between cars due to my cycle signal lights.

A cycle allows me to choose quiet routes to avoid other people.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

I'll fix it at another time.

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[Intellau_Celistic]

If you count cycles, I can rummage through my collections for tidbits, though I can't guarantee they haven't been modified.

I was briefly chatting with a Pean hole from Maine and occasionally cycling, though I soon stopped due to ASD symptoms.

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[Intellau_Celistic]

She looked at me in disgust and horror, ignored me, never complimented me, never been nice to me, treated me like shit, called me ugly, never fucked me, spread rumours about me. She never loved me and loved other men. All cause she finds me repulsive, so I hate her.

I hope she suffers a painful agonizing death

Quite similar to the situation I have with my own "oneitis", Rose. She enjoyed seeing me in a ward for suicidal patients.



No, not after many years of deep attachment. It causes one to seethe. Or, in my case, cycle between seething and sorrow.

Of-course, I approached her only to confirm my status as a "low class" male.

The mysterious Aspie John first realized a strange cycle at a young age:

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[Intellau_Celistic]

I'd envision Kasumi wearing a black flare dress/corset for Satoshi. The two would cycle between intimate sexuality and arguing/divorce:

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

My attraction to ... oneitis occurs in cycles.

Every so often, I start to view her completely as a vain, "Brioche-type" femoid.

No. The guy cared for her while she was hospitalized. She also ignored a guy who offered his domestic violence experiences publicly.

 

[Magicmirror]

2018_07_12_20_35_05:


View: https://vocaroo.com/1eLSLaFgTBoD

you have huge vocabulary high iq

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

you have huge vocabulary high iq

It's a product of my Working Memory.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

GIga cope, the average nigger has the IQ of a brick

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

I enjoyed vanilla soy milk in the hospital. It was a nice treat, along with Lamictal and Prozac 80mg daily.

I was rotting on Lexapro in 2021. With Prozac, however, I was able to denigrate Shannon and my half-relative easily.

I'm rotting on Prozac once again. I've never rotted on this site like I did on Yahoo Answers, though it is nice here.

Naproxen, Fluticasone, Tylenol, Zofran and Prozac.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: Somebody clear this up for me...

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200266854Tuesday, October 18, 2016 12:34 AM CDT You Do Not Understand Sorcery Very Much, I See. Magic Enhances Your Abilities. "Zombification" Is A Magical Transformation.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: i gotta do geo honors online as well as health

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#190388683Friday, June 03, 2016 6:08 PM CDT "IF YOU WANT HARD, TAKE CALCULUS!" You Are Caucasian, Calculus Should Be Child's Play For You. Complete Basic Topology/Abstract-Algebra Problems.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: First poster gets Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #190388938Friday, June 03, 2016 6:12 PM CDT Jewish Individuals Are Imbeciles.

Re: @ my fellow ot girls Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #190623094Monday, June 06, 2016 9:53 PM CDT Yes, I apply cosmetics regularly. Although, my natural appearance is more than beautiful enough.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: [ Content Deleted ] Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #190665770Tuesday, June 07, 2016 3:29 PM CDT "You seem incapable of making the difference between joke posts and regular posts" To a certain extent, I suppose. Ah well, it is not a problem for me.

Re: Why do people use autism as an insult? Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #190667372Tuesday, June 07, 2016 3:47 PM CDT Simple. It is a method of magnifying an individual's "flaws" when the arguer cannot accept the sufferer's perception/evidence of a given situation. Internet imbeciles regularly resort to such tactics.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: Poll: Are U Good At Maths? Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #200236802Monday, October 17, 2016 1:58 PM CDT You should define "Maths." There are Geometric Maths, Algebraic Maths, et cetera. Also, the person who stated that "You should learn proper spelling and grammar before studying Maths" is an imbecile who should learn the definition of Ad-Hominem.

Re: Is there a way to IP Ban someone on ROBLOX? Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #200236936Monday, October 17, 2016 2:02 PM CDT "U would know the answer if u were smart" It is my hope that this is sarcasm. Otherwise, you would not know the answer, since you would not be "smart."

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: Anyone watching Dragonball Super? Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #200238730Monday, October 17, 2016 2:48 PM CDT "Zam worn out" Hmm. I'm not so sure about this. Makaioshin is immortal, yes? I would think that this extends to Ki consumption as well.

Re: I made up this poem in my class today Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #200239080Monday, October 17, 2016 2:56 PM CDT "Eczema"? This is more applicable to "Epidermolysis bullosa."

Re: Anyone watching Dragonball Super? Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #200245416Monday, October 17, 2016 5:03 PM CDT "But how would Vegito separate if they do use the potara earrings? The fusion from them lasts forever, even if you take off the earrings. They were only able to separate in the Buu saga because of the weird aura inside his body." They could surely use the Super Dragon Balls in the "Main" time-line.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: When You Ready To Leave Cuz RT is full of gray threads

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200266566Tuesday, October 18, 2016 12:14 AM CDT Correction, I Believe You Intended To Use "Youre" In Title: Not "You." Also: "Cuz" Is Not A Word[Neither Is "Trynna" And "Wanna"]: And You Need Capitalize Title*

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: what is so bad about the in game filter anyways?

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200401354Friday, October 21, 2016 8:57 PM CDT "the biggest problem with the filter is it chooses from a list of approved words, instead the usual of a list of not approved words, that's why in game if you type opwmfrpohgme opthrgimredohient it gets filter because Roblox does not list that as a word" Don't worry; a white-list will be implemented into the ROBLOX forums soon enough.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: When you like a girl you thought you had no chance with ... Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #200401864Friday, October 21, 2016 9:08 PM CDT Sloares do not like males; they simply like the male's valuable assets.

Re: Mom spelled backwards is... Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #200402025Friday, October 21, 2016 9:12 PM CDT Congratulations, you've just discovered the concept of a palindrome. Your mum must be pleased with your fifth-grade progress.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: Toysack complains about new posters 24/7

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200402620Friday, October 21, 2016 9:27 PM CDT "of course a sheep believes it lol" A liberal imbecile like yourself claiming that another user is a "sheep"? Incredible.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: [ Content Deleted ] Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #200402862Friday, October 21, 2016 9:33 PM CDT There are too many Niqqlers on the Internet anyhow.

Re: why do i literally win every single argument im in Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157 #200402912Friday, October 21, 2016 9:34 PM CDT "you realise this is from July right" I see no difference. Same behavior, same idiocy.

Re: kohltastrophe made an ad for me once

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200402672Friday, October 21, 2016 9:28 PM CDT Kohltrastrophe is a low-quality, abysmal scripter who plagiarizes every snippet of "his" code from free-models.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: Lesson 1.1: : Representing Square Numbers

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200678306Saturday, October 29, 2016 2:25 PM CDT 3 - (B) 4 - (C) 5 - (A) 6 - (C) 7 - (B) 8 - (D) 9 - (C) 10 - (A) Why the complaints? This is only simple Maths, you know. Also, regarding the "NUMBERS ARE NOT SHAPES" comment, numerical patterns do exist.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: something tragic has happened to me

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200403628Friday, October 21, 2016 9:55 PM CDT It must be because you are too obese for your brain to signal your muscles properly.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: who hear likes god

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200407964Saturday, October 22, 2016 12:26 AM CDT You are on the wrong website. ROBLOX is filled with LGBT degenerates.

Re: Im not good at anything

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200404400Friday, October 21, 2016 10:17 PM CDT Well, you should not be so upset. Most Internet schoolchildren are valueless to society. Social leeches benefiting from mummy and daddy's income as the economy collapses and morals degrade.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: this semi truck drives itself o_o

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200661765Saturday, October 29, 2016 4:08 AM CDT Alright then. You should move in the path of the truck's fore and see whether the algorithm will save you.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: "Don't take candy from strangers"

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200677276Saturday, October 29, 2016 1:58 PM CDT It's a holiday; it bypasses the moral standards of those who celebrate it.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: [ Content Deleted ]

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200266446Tuesday, October 18, 2016 12:06 AM CDT Neekeri s ovat cretinish Saharan ihmisille, jotka olisi erotettava sivistyneen White kansalaisten.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: I STOLE MY MOMS CREDIT CARD!!!!!!!!

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200246493Monday, October 17, 2016 5:23 PM CDT Good For You.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: I am a masculinimist

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200250372Monday, October 17, 2016 6:42 PM CDT Female supremacy and misandry is abundant in America. As oppression becomes more explicit, Libby males simply become more submissive to the vulevae cretin.

Re: ROBLOX is actually getting pwned by their own filter system

Subjective_Anon Join Date: 2016-03-08 Post Count: 157

#200250463Monday, October 17, 2016 6:43 PM CDT "i know why it's needed, i just wish it wasn't as harsh" It is needed because "Special Snowflake" Libby children need to be protected from the vile truths of the concrete world.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Employment History:

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: should computer virus scans take over 3 hours AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332 #151528109Thursday, December 11, 2014 8:22 PM CST "even itself scanning itself scanning itself scanning itself scanning itself! (paradox)" That's a rather recursive pattern.

Re: Honesty Paradox. AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332 #151822217Tuesday, December 16, 2014 4:40 PM CST The person's opinion on the subject may not be entirely negative, It's entirely possible for an individual to genuinely adapt their thinking to fit the circumstances. Additionally, what the individual may consider "Kind" can actually be considered "Unkind" by the opposing side thus this isn't necessarily a "Paradox".

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: Sorites' Paradox

Moronism Join Date: 2010-02-08 Post Count: 451

#182820715Monday, February 01, 2016 2:55 AM CST "Now tell me, when did the heap of sand stop being a heap of sand?" Simple. It did not. The single sand particle itself is not perceived within group any longer. However, the particle itself can be perceived as a group of smaller sand particles. Hence, it is recursively paradoxical.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: I know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a... AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332 #149370347Friday, November 07, 2014 11:14 PM CST Excellent example of "Recursion".

Re: I had a dream about… AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332 #150451155Wednesday, November 26, 2014 6:46 AM CST Ah yes, "Recursion" is an excellent mechanism.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: I had a dream about…

AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332

#150451316Wednesday, November 26, 2014 6:56 AM CST Well, something such as "I had a recursive sequence of dreaming" could've conveyed the pattern of events sufficiently.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: should computer virus scans take over 3 hours AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332 #151528109Thursday, December 11, 2014 8:22 PM CST "even itself scanning itself scanning itself scanning itself scanning itself! (paradox)" That's a rather recursive pattern.

Re: Im Bored, Challenge me to Script Something :3 AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332 #182362046Sunday, January 24, 2016 9:38 PM CST Implement a rather-basic factorial function using recursive functions.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: ot i need help with women

AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332

#183146877Sunday, February 07, 2016 3:37 AM CST I am concerned by your naivety. Resist your harmful instinctual desires. Female individuals are nothing more than puppeteers suffering from inherently-narcissistic desires. This is evident throughout leftist society. Private research of philosophy and mathematics is the only method that you should actively lust towards. Anything other than that is merely designed by society to manipulate you on a psychological-level.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Re: What's the reason of life.

AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332

#182818080Monday, February 01, 2016 1:15 AM CST Ah, very classic philosophical question. Well, the essential aspect of the premise that "life" itself does not have any sort of systematic purpose. All "grander schemes of things" are fabricated to provide satisfaction to individuals that cannot recognize that the value of their actions is purely subjective and overall, insignificant. This is actually quite good, because it guarantees that we do not need to live within a specific boundary of behavior. Rather, we can devise our own social-constructs and engage in behavior as we please. "Crime" is nothing more than actions that are perceived negatively by those with differing viewpoints. Fulfill your hedonistic desires as necessary.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

It Is Truly Difficult To Live With Such An Enormous IQ

Moronism Join Date: 2010-02-08 Post Count: 451

#183567345Saturday, February 13, 2016 11:26 PM CST Hello adolescent schoolchildren. Lately, I have explored the territory surrounding my place of dwelling. And during each individual expedition, I noted the magnificent geometrical patterns throughout nature. The mere nodes of a single leaf bind together to form often semi-curved yet white, "embedded" lines. It is beautiful. Upon returning home, I thought excessively about the situation. And then I came to a horrid and unfortunate realization: The vast majority of civilians are incapable of recognizing simple mathematical patterns within nature. I was repulsed by that truthful realization. Mathematics is one of the fundamental components of abstraction. Recognizing the connection of concepts via mathematical knowledge is imperative to understanding the functionality of a system. Basic Calculus describes sequences. Yet, individuals of average intelligence cannot understand simple abstraction without a calculator(And calculators focus only on blatant computation, as computers are computational devices), which they can very rarely utilize efficiently. It is horrible. Nevertheless, returning to the main subject itself, I often displace myself to my local library to review scientific/mathematical books, and determine whether they are fit to be replenished within the finite collection. After analysis, I subsequently inform the menial laborers of my decision. It frequently baffles me that individuals such as Gilbert Strang(Who feigns supposed knowledge of basic Linear Algebra principles) are glorified by the employees there. Gilbert lacks sufficient knowledge of the subject he is speaking about. As does the majority of MIT instructors. They are novices who have gained supposed "credibility" via media manipulation. Linear Algebra is much more abstractly-concrete and fundamental than what Gilbert or his colleagues can convey it to be. Strang's "Linear Algebra" is successful only because of pseudo-pedagogy. Allow me to elaborate in a much more humble manner: I have attained exactly 157 IQ units. My spatial-reasoning greatly exceeds that of the typical individual, and this is evident by the many physics engines that I constructed on Unix-based systems using only C and SDL as my available utility tool. Yet, my proficiency in geometrical/trigonometrical manipulation is a mere thousandth of my overall capabilities. On various occasions, I have also solved many abstract, post-PhD level problems within the ranges of number-theory/model-theory. It is often distressing to visit Internet forums to discuss my intelligence level, given that reference to basic philosophical principles quickly confuses those who have a lower IQ than I. Strangely enough, those same individuals cannot comprehend basic vocabulary words, and they frequently mention the use of a dictionary and/or thesaurus. Why, a dictionary and/or thesaurus is redundant to understand such simplistic terminology. Well, I suppose that I should continue development of my memory-storage algorithm. I intend to simulate OS functionality using RBX.Lua, which should be relatively easy using modules. I can only hope that society stops patronizing individuals such as myself because of our superior intelligence. It is truly terrible.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Philosophy ∈ Mathematics

UnsourcedAnon Join Date: 2016-01-12 Post Count: 563

#184814822Saturday, March 05, 2016 3:26 PM CST Yes, it is quite true. Philosophy is enslaved by mathematics. Only imbeciles would deny such a fundamental detail. The concepts described in the first category are conveyed by the characteristics of the second category. Hence, the first is based on the logical-criteria of the second. Philosophers cry incessantly as they ponder their mathematical inferiority.