zekr
AMOR FATI
★★
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2020
- Posts
- 1,604
I officially made it longer in life than the figurehead of a man who went out and killed people due to his lifelong sexual frustration. Elliot rodger died just before he turned 22 years & 11 months old...well, I am officially older than that as of last week. As someone who has also experienced a lifetime of sexual frustration, I will turn 23 as a KHHV within the next couple of weeks and I think this is the most daunting birthday of my entire life...
See, for years there is somewhat of a milestone system in place and age is not exempt from that. For instance, when you turn 16 it's typically the age that is venerated as being seen as mature...foids have sweet sixteens, it's usually the first year you can drive legally, you are seen as ready to date "she can date when she's 16" etc.
17 is seen as the age where you are now a senior in high school and hitting all of these milestones like typically the last year of puberty, average age of losing your virginity as a guy, choosing colleges, can see R-rated movies and buy M-rated games, can join the military, etc.
At 18 you are now a legal adult and are granted many privileges you otherwise wouldn't be able to perform as a minor and the list only goes on as to what you are now capable of doing (moving out for the first time, going away to colleges and developing a sense of independence, can get a credit card and go into debt etc...)
19 depending on where you live is also the case with more opportunities expanding due to your legal age as well as you being a teenager for the last time, etc. This way the first age that I felt "old" and truly sentient of my own mortality. It was also the age that I recognized in myself as truly not being "normal" as I had been denying it for years but now my chronological age was proof.
20 is big as you are entering a new decade of your life and the feeling of adulthood really sets in..."You are now in your twenties and now longer a kid" I feel like this is the age that people stop referring to you as a boy and using the negligence of being a teenager as an excuse is now gone.
21 is infamous for being the archetypal age of drinking as well as preferred youth "Are you 21 hahaha", etc. (More legal opportunities open up as well)
22 is usually the year that you graduate college and get a full-time job with many moving away from home permanently and it is really their first time being independent in a sense as they stop having to rely on their parents for money...
The point is that you know exactly what I am saying. I'm just not articulating it well at the moment because I'm typing this in mental haze but for your entire life up until now, a full year feels much different from the last (well for normies at least). Night and day in some cases. Each year up until now, getting a year older feels meaningful with rapid physical, neurological, and personal goal-oriented milestones that normies seem to reach with ease. I have utterly failed at reaching all of these milestones and have been completely mentally stunted for years now...
23 feels like the year for me where it's almost like you are now on your own and life is just a heavy gray fog at this point...The years just keep racking up and it's very easy to get left behind now. This will be the last year that you can definitively say you are in your early twenties and I have nothing to show for it. No more celebrated milestones, the shield of youth seems to be completely gone, and you are expected to just know how to do most things. What milestone am I waiting for now? ohhh the human brain stops developing at 25, yeah what an awesome milestone to reach where your brain starts to degenerate yeah really looking forward to that! ...Oh yeah some completely arbitrary milestone like getting married which is 30 for men in the U.S. yeah totally looking forward to that when I never ever fucking kissed a girl . It's also complete bullshit as a milestone means nothing if it can be reversed (divorce rate is over 50% now), while you can't reverse being able to purchase alcohol or losing your virginity for instance!
There's nothing left for me. If you managed to get to this point as an incel well it's going to be a lifetime of catching up and compensating if you didn't realize that already. I thought I would have killed myself by this age as a teenager and I feel like one of those soldiers who lost all of his buddies in war coming back home and being like "well...what now?"
(Lol just think of the infamous 4chan greentext talking about being a 23 year old freak if you failed these milestones)
See, for years there is somewhat of a milestone system in place and age is not exempt from that. For instance, when you turn 16 it's typically the age that is venerated as being seen as mature...foids have sweet sixteens, it's usually the first year you can drive legally, you are seen as ready to date "she can date when she's 16" etc.
17 is seen as the age where you are now a senior in high school and hitting all of these milestones like typically the last year of puberty, average age of losing your virginity as a guy, choosing colleges, can see R-rated movies and buy M-rated games, can join the military, etc.
At 18 you are now a legal adult and are granted many privileges you otherwise wouldn't be able to perform as a minor and the list only goes on as to what you are now capable of doing (moving out for the first time, going away to colleges and developing a sense of independence, can get a credit card and go into debt etc...)
19 depending on where you live is also the case with more opportunities expanding due to your legal age as well as you being a teenager for the last time, etc. This way the first age that I felt "old" and truly sentient of my own mortality. It was also the age that I recognized in myself as truly not being "normal" as I had been denying it for years but now my chronological age was proof.
20 is big as you are entering a new decade of your life and the feeling of adulthood really sets in..."You are now in your twenties and now longer a kid" I feel like this is the age that people stop referring to you as a boy and using the negligence of being a teenager as an excuse is now gone.
21 is infamous for being the archetypal age of drinking as well as preferred youth "Are you 21 hahaha", etc. (More legal opportunities open up as well)
22 is usually the year that you graduate college and get a full-time job with many moving away from home permanently and it is really their first time being independent in a sense as they stop having to rely on their parents for money...
The point is that you know exactly what I am saying. I'm just not articulating it well at the moment because I'm typing this in mental haze but for your entire life up until now, a full year feels much different from the last (well for normies at least). Night and day in some cases. Each year up until now, getting a year older feels meaningful with rapid physical, neurological, and personal goal-oriented milestones that normies seem to reach with ease. I have utterly failed at reaching all of these milestones and have been completely mentally stunted for years now...
23 feels like the year for me where it's almost like you are now on your own and life is just a heavy gray fog at this point...The years just keep racking up and it's very easy to get left behind now. This will be the last year that you can definitively say you are in your early twenties and I have nothing to show for it. No more celebrated milestones, the shield of youth seems to be completely gone, and you are expected to just know how to do most things. What milestone am I waiting for now? ohhh the human brain stops developing at 25, yeah what an awesome milestone to reach where your brain starts to degenerate yeah really looking forward to that! ...Oh yeah some completely arbitrary milestone like getting married which is 30 for men in the U.S. yeah totally looking forward to that when I never ever fucking kissed a girl . It's also complete bullshit as a milestone means nothing if it can be reversed (divorce rate is over 50% now), while you can't reverse being able to purchase alcohol or losing your virginity for instance!
There's nothing left for me. If you managed to get to this point as an incel well it's going to be a lifetime of catching up and compensating if you didn't realize that already. I thought I would have killed myself by this age as a teenager and I feel like one of those soldiers who lost all of his buddies in war coming back home and being like "well...what now?"
(Lol just think of the infamous 4chan greentext talking about being a 23 year old freak if you failed these milestones)
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