Eternatus
I shall surrender to the darkness beneath me
★★
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2024
- Posts
- 2,198
- Online time
- 14h 14m
When I was a kid my mother took me to the hospital and I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I was often nonverbal and always walked around with my head down. I constantly felt an abnormal level of tiredness for someone my age. My mother is obsessed with assigning a psychological disorder to anyone so she had me checked.
What I don’t understand is how I could perform so well on IQ tests, I once scored 159, and a few years later, when I took another one, the doctor told me I was well above the 99th percentile. I could’ve easily been an IQmogger, and my life would’ve been completely different. But instead of being at Harvard finishing my PhD in quantum computing, I’m a pathetic failure working at an airport surrounded by equally retarded people.
I get made fun of all the time, I’m crooked, hunched over, and I spend my free time gaming and gooning. When I try to read or learn something, it takes me forever or I just can’t remember anything. I even tried to learn German and couldn’t manage that either.
I don’t want to say it’s ADHD, autism, or any of that because it all feels cope. Either I really am just a young dementia case and those old test results don’t mean anything anymore, something I’d rather not confirm because it would crush me, or I’m just so low inhib that I burned away a life of success and fulfillment for nothing. Maybe everything would’ve turned out differently if I’d just looked better.
What I don’t understand is how I could perform so well on IQ tests, I once scored 159, and a few years later, when I took another one, the doctor told me I was well above the 99th percentile. I could’ve easily been an IQmogger, and my life would’ve been completely different. But instead of being at Harvard finishing my PhD in quantum computing, I’m a pathetic failure working at an airport surrounded by equally retarded people.
I get made fun of all the time, I’m crooked, hunched over, and I spend my free time gaming and gooning. When I try to read or learn something, it takes me forever or I just can’t remember anything. I even tried to learn German and couldn’t manage that either.
I don’t want to say it’s ADHD, autism, or any of that because it all feels cope. Either I really am just a young dementia case and those old test results don’t mean anything anymore, something I’d rather not confirm because it would crush me, or I’m just so low inhib that I burned away a life of success and fulfillment for nothing. Maybe everything would’ve turned out differently if I’d just looked better.





