That’s the reason I continue to live. I don’t have any talents, I’m not good at anything and I’m definitely not attractive, so I wonder why I haven’t just let go.
Every time I think about suicide I think back to when I was in an argument with some girl.
It was about some stupid political garbage and she just called me ugly as a retort. She then asked mockingly if I was going to work out and I told her that I would, and she said this is why girls don’t like me.
I was hurt that day beyond belief. I worked out but came home and cried my eyes out like a pansy. I was depressed for the next month, and the next month. Sometimes I forgot why I was depressed but nevertheless I hated myself, that’s how much of an impact it made to me. But soon depression faded into anger, and that motivates to fight on, to keep working out.
Would I prove this girl wrong? Who cares, she’d call me ugly regardless. This was for myself. I wanted to set myself apart from other men by pushing myself to my limits.
However recently my life has fell apart again. Problems at work, general struggling in all of my hobbies, it’s made it feel empty. The anger is gone, all I feel is emptiness. I can’t see how I can continue living like this, as an ugly loser with no motivation.
I hope she’s happy now.
Every time I think about suicide I think back to when I was in an argument with some girl.
It was about some stupid political garbage and she just called me ugly as a retort. She then asked mockingly if I was going to work out and I told her that I would, and she said this is why girls don’t like me.
I was hurt that day beyond belief. I worked out but came home and cried my eyes out like a pansy. I was depressed for the next month, and the next month. Sometimes I forgot why I was depressed but nevertheless I hated myself, that’s how much of an impact it made to me. But soon depression faded into anger, and that motivates to fight on, to keep working out.
Would I prove this girl wrong? Who cares, she’d call me ugly regardless. This was for myself. I wanted to set myself apart from other men by pushing myself to my limits.
However recently my life has fell apart again. Problems at work, general struggling in all of my hobbies, it’s made it feel empty. The anger is gone, all I feel is emptiness. I can’t see how I can continue living like this, as an ugly loser with no motivation.
I hope she’s happy now.
