If you're reading this, youre only 10 years too late.
6-12
If your parents didn't actively encourage you to play with girls at a very young age, they didn't love you enough. Failing to socialize with girls at an early age gives you a 50% chance of growing up as that weird guy who plays board games and stares at girls' feet at animecon. The less interaction you have with girls as a youngster the more mysterious and inhuman they will appear, the more likely you will end up fetishizing them -- the existence of this board is confirms Freud's lifework. The 'boys are gross' is a fallacy, girls pick out the boys they like at this age, and the truly blessed among us have already experience their first kisses at 6, 7, or 9.
12-15
Once your gonads start to secrete sex hormones celibate life around girls becomes more and more unbearable. You're likely trapped with them 8 hours a day as part of a mandatory curriculum, watching them grow in live motion. Too young for tinder and the drivers license, and your test libido is climbing to it's peak, but you missed this one out as you spent those hot summer evenings playing video games instead of sneaking out of your window and cycling to your local swimming pool to see her. You still had your hair back then, didn't you?
15-18
As you enter high school this is when things start getting serious. You will be operating in a environment full of prime women not yet considered fair game for adult men, and with a child-like curiosity for experimentation. Most men will peak during these years as girls will find ways to let you know they're attracted. Flirtatious looks in the hallways, someone telling you about that girl who has her eyes on you since she first saw you , a exhilarating experience also marked by a exclusively lookist based romance, but also a tolerance in the sense that this will be the only time in your life when your height deficit, skinny stature or weakish jaw could be tolerable in the context of having a boyish appeal.
18 - 21
You've made it through as a kissless virgin when your face wasn't ravaged by puberty yet and when the hairs on your head were still intact. But you call yourself a late bloomer, right? I get it. With a bit of luck you try and reinvent yourself in college, for practical purposes better to choose one away from your hometown. Never commute as it takes away the thrill. The first weeks of your freshman years will be crucial, a failure to integrate within the social fabric of campus life will result in the most anti-climactic experience one can have, but your freshman year could possibly be the best year of your life -- you enter the scene as a stranger in a social space saturated with young women and hierarchies yet to be established.
21+
1,2,3,4, and you're out. Your fb timeline? Dead. Memories? None. The hair on your head? Gone. You've managed to screw up just every stage in Erikson's model of psychosocial development only to come to the conclusion that there might be a missing page, fuck that, a whole chapter, in your bio as you become permeated by a melancholic feeling when the only you spent your prime years "living" like a mole rate:
6-12
If your parents didn't actively encourage you to play with girls at a very young age, they didn't love you enough. Failing to socialize with girls at an early age gives you a 50% chance of growing up as that weird guy who plays board games and stares at girls' feet at animecon. The less interaction you have with girls as a youngster the more mysterious and inhuman they will appear, the more likely you will end up fetishizing them -- the existence of this board is confirms Freud's lifework. The 'boys are gross' is a fallacy, girls pick out the boys they like at this age, and the truly blessed among us have already experience their first kisses at 6, 7, or 9.
12-15
Once your gonads start to secrete sex hormones celibate life around girls becomes more and more unbearable. You're likely trapped with them 8 hours a day as part of a mandatory curriculum, watching them grow in live motion. Too young for tinder and the drivers license, and your test libido is climbing to it's peak, but you missed this one out as you spent those hot summer evenings playing video games instead of sneaking out of your window and cycling to your local swimming pool to see her. You still had your hair back then, didn't you?
15-18
As you enter high school this is when things start getting serious. You will be operating in a environment full of prime women not yet considered fair game for adult men, and with a child-like curiosity for experimentation. Most men will peak during these years as girls will find ways to let you know they're attracted. Flirtatious looks in the hallways, someone telling you about that girl who has her eyes on you since she first saw you , a exhilarating experience also marked by a exclusively lookist based romance, but also a tolerance in the sense that this will be the only time in your life when your height deficit, skinny stature or weakish jaw could be tolerable in the context of having a boyish appeal.
18 - 21
You've made it through as a kissless virgin when your face wasn't ravaged by puberty yet and when the hairs on your head were still intact. But you call yourself a late bloomer, right? I get it. With a bit of luck you try and reinvent yourself in college, for practical purposes better to choose one away from your hometown. Never commute as it takes away the thrill. The first weeks of your freshman years will be crucial, a failure to integrate within the social fabric of campus life will result in the most anti-climactic experience one can have, but your freshman year could possibly be the best year of your life -- you enter the scene as a stranger in a social space saturated with young women and hierarchies yet to be established.
21+
1,2,3,4, and you're out. Your fb timeline? Dead. Memories? None. The hair on your head? Gone. You've managed to screw up just every stage in Erikson's model of psychosocial development only to come to the conclusion that there might be a missing page, fuck that, a whole chapter, in your bio as you become permeated by a melancholic feeling when the only you spent your prime years "living" like a mole rate:
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