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I decided to go out for a drive today. Got in my car, took a look at my face in the mirror and noticed some new flaw I had never seen. I paused for a moment as this made me feel some type of way even though it is insignificant compared to my many big flaws. I stopped looking and as I started driving I slowly broke down crying. I'm usually emotionless but I cried this time not because of what I saw but because it was the last straw. It made the permanent reality of my situation dawn on me. I realized that not only am I not good enough, I will also never be. I have to face it there's too many things wrong with me. I already knew this deep down but I would cope telling myself if I maxxed everything it would be different. No. The fact is that I'm a loser now and forever and when I think about my current situation and past experiences they are all testaments of my inadequacy among humans. In that moment there was absolutely no hope for me in my heart and in my mind. It's truly over. There's no point lying to myself I have to be honest with myself. I think that's it for me, in these circumstances you just have to wonder why bother with anything anymore. Thanks for reading if you did. Take care boyos, I wish you all well.
