Well lets see...
-I believe two times as a baby or very young child I could've "bit it" so to speak due to pneumonia but fortunately I puked all over my dad (at least one of the times according to my mother's account of the incident) and the doctor was very pleased to hear this since that freed up my chest of congestive potentially fatal mucus buildup that this shitty condition can cause and I survived. My poor old man was also puked on under similar pneumonia circumstances by my older cousin while he was also a baby and my mother told me orange chunks were hanging from my old man's shirt or beard if not both I think it was. Damn. I feel bad for what my old man went through from us now that I think about it but oh well I guess he got out of the experience ultimately alright as he never contracted pneumonia from either of us because of this.
-Some asshole tried to run me down in his car while I was taking a walk down my road and I had to run off the road to get away from the fucker.
-Dumb ass cousin (he's cool now and became quite intelligent with time but a dumbass back then) was charged with babysitting me when we were older (he's four years older than me and I think I was 10 and he 14 at the time or no it probably had to be that I was 12 and he must of been at least 16 since there was a car involved. Anyway he let his equally or worse dumb ass friends drive us somewhere in a car and I think it was a dumb bitch/broad who was one of his friends who ended up driving us all into a tree. Fortunately this was only at low speed but I think possibly one of the male friends ended up with a broken foot and I may of slightly hurt my back and everyone was mentally shook up but that was about it and we then somehow made it home safely and I think he escaped having his ass beaten by his mother my aunt because everyone kept their mouth shut about what happened. Shit, I may of actually blabbed the truth come to think of it but I don't think I was believed at the time due to a combination of being younger and being outnumbered by 3 lying bullshitters to one truthful eventual Wizard.
-Different dumb ass (but tragically loveable) cousin took me for a ride on his 3 wheeler I think it was but he ended up hitting something which stalled us out, I riding behind him was of course flung off and landed back first on a large rock which had my back feeling fucked up for years. My cousin was of course concerned about my health being the loveable but dumb goofball that he was, so he without thinking backs up the three wheeler and ends up running over my right leg which also left me with a slight limp for possibly a year if not a little longer. I told my parents about the accident I think and what happened but somehow the seriousness of the situation didn't register in their minds since I basically looked alright so there was no clinic, hospital or emergency room visit in the cards for me at that time.
-Original dumb ass cousin got it into his mind to have us take a ride on the family snowmobile during winter in their yard. Things went well at first but then he alerted me that there was a problem ie he'd lost control of the steering wheel or rather the machine was no longer responding to his commands prompting us both to jump off the vehicle before it unceremoniously crashed into a nearby fence.
-Hospitalized more times than I care to admit as an adult for potentially fatal infections due to my shitty leg veins but due to getting into the ER soon enough I was fortunately treated successfully all three times with no major or at least lasting physical complications resulting. Basically to fix you up from bad infections whether cellulitis, staph or sepsis they first get a blood culture, then start you on a multipurpose antibiotic fluid sack until your specific blood pathogen/bacteria is properly identified after the bacteria grows in their sample so it can be identified and then they put you on a targeted antibiotic fluid sack that is called "targeted" because its the best drug around for killing that particular microbe/bacteria/what have you. They also juice you up with regular saline IV fluids for various reasons ie to stabilize blood pressure, combat dehydration and test/help with kidney function as well I've learned from a nurse that the idea of providing large amounts of saline IV fluids when presented with these infections directly to the vein is that it helps stop the body from attacking itself by dilluting the infection making the body think things aren't so bad after all ie you see what kills you or rather can kill you from these infections isn't necessarily the bacteria itself but rather your body's overwhelming response in trying to kill said infection. So the IV saline fluid can once again "trick" the body into backing off it's severe/overwhelming response for usually long enough to allow the multi purpose as well eventual targeted antibiotics to do their job and kill off the infection.
-Oh yeah I also had to basically run for my life as a teenager for about a half a mile or a mile to escape a viscious nigger pitbull that was intent on taking out a piece of my ass were I to let him get close enough to do so.
-Damn the above shitty dog story just remembered I also had to run for my life (but not as far thankfully) from a damn near equally viscious doberman owned by my best friend and his grandma (who took care of him while growing up). No, my friend didn't sicc the thing on me. It was just a typical asshole doberman dog that much like the nigger pitbulls of the world was totally out of control. Fortunately I believe not too long after they got rid of the fucker.
