Edit: Just the ramblings of an idiot, ignore.
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The brief time when I had access to drugs (legal in that area) was the best time of my life
buy some again bro
Do you ever wonder if the drugs robbed you of your capacity to tolerate life without them? Being exposed to more intense or unnatural sensations can make the brain find life without the drugs to be unacceptable.
Of course you mentioned being depressed since age 13, so I'm not sure if this is the case for you. Perhaps you felt what it was like to be truly free from stressors, and you felt nostalgic because you "remembered" what it was like before them, even if you've never actually experienced this.
Sometimes I feel ideal imagined states of happiness, memories that I remember incorrectly as being better than I know that they were, and future goals promising me contentment as nostalgia. None of it is genuine, it's just my mind tricking me.
Of course you mentioned being depressed since age 13, so I'm not sure if this is the case for you. Perhaps you felt what it was like to be truly free from stressors, and you felt nostalgic because you "remembered" what it was like before them, even if you've never actually experienced this.
Sometimes I feel ideal imagined states of happiness, memories that I remember incorrectly as being better than I know that they were, and future goals promising me contentment as nostalgia. None of it is genuine, it's just my mind tricking me.
why you edited OP bro
I wish I had drugs right now tbh
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