You've skipped all the bullshit straight to the end of the book. The first question that came to my mind was "what now?" I'm still trying to figure this one out. There doesn't seem to be a lot that I can do with my life at this point. I don't know if I can take another decade of this crap living with a blackpilled mindset. I have made it thus far because I used to be bluepilled as fuck.
All those dreams and goals that I had when I was young don't have any appeal anymore. It's all meaningless. There's nothing else to be discovered; I have reached the ultimate wisdom. I could cope with God, but I know there's no deity watching over us. My time here is limited, however, there's nothing I want to do anymore. Living to pay bills, and to buy things which will become obsolete in a few months don't excite me.
Even if I tried living for others such as volunteering in some fucked up place for people with fucked up conditions; I'd still be doing it only for myself so that I can fill this void. I know normans who volunteer at my town's children's hospital; they make sure to virtue signal it to the whole world every day. I can't live such a falsehood. I can't pretend that I'm doing it for others when it's clearly for myself.
It doesn't matter from which angle I look at this. There's no escape from inceldom or the pain and disconnection that it has caused me over the years. Maybe If I had lived a life full of positive reinforcement I wouldn't be posting this crap now.
All those dreams and goals that I had when I was young don't have any appeal anymore. It's all meaningless. There's nothing else to be discovered; I have reached the ultimate wisdom. I could cope with God, but I know there's no deity watching over us. My time here is limited, however, there's nothing I want to do anymore. Living to pay bills, and to buy things which will become obsolete in a few months don't excite me.
Even if I tried living for others such as volunteering in some fucked up place for people with fucked up conditions; I'd still be doing it only for myself so that I can fill this void. I know normans who volunteer at my town's children's hospital; they make sure to virtue signal it to the whole world every day. I can't live such a falsehood. I can't pretend that I'm doing it for others when it's clearly for myself.
It doesn't matter from which angle I look at this. There's no escape from inceldom or the pain and disconnection that it has caused me over the years. Maybe If I had lived a life full of positive reinforcement I wouldn't be posting this crap now.
